But there are different kinds of analytical, surely? I crawled across a living room and dodged falling bookcases to get to a phone to call my daughter and make sure she was okay; my brain was telling me that the phone lines would be jammed solid once the quake stopped, so I'd better get Jo on the phone now. And while I crawling, I was also remembering where Alan's phone was, which was on the wall next to his solid wood kitchen table. (edit: she'd been taught to clear everything off the top in case of a quake, and slide under it, within reach of the phone, and she did just that. I was very proud of her.)

My brain, at the moment, neither freaked out nor gave a rat's rectum what the scale was. It analysed what was likely to be happening realworld - in this case, my ten-year-old alone across town - and went for it.

So yeah, we all define and respond differently.

The thing is, I do have a freaking-out side to my personality, as anyone who's been on Bitches for any length of time knows, and one that I've literally been battling to control since I learned it was a problem at the age of 6. And I'm always so damned proud of myself when I manage to get through the kind of situation that stresses me without visibly freaking out. I just wish I knew how I'd ended up wired to freak out when you're not supposed to, but to be calm when it'd be more socially acceptable to let my emotional side show a little bit. But this is probably the wrong thread to discuss this. Suffice it to say I'm pulling for the storm to weaken and for everyone who needs to to have the means and willingness to get inland.

Suffice it to say I'm pulling for the storm to weaken and for everyone who needs to to have the means and willingness to get inland.

A world of wrod, there.

Pity they couldn't have shown any competence for Katrina in the first place. Wonder if FEMA will have to fill out forms in triplicate to the completely inept DoHS overlords on this one?

You're not kidding. I have been on the phone since 1pm trying to get a PO box #. I have sort of become this "battling the bueraucracksy so you don't have to person". First there's the phone menu, then there are the downed computers, then some computers are up, but you have to be lucky enough to have had one of them answer the phone (don't ask me why if some people's computers work and others don't, the ones whose computers don't work are answering phones), then they can't help- actually, it takes about an hour of me explaining and then being told they can't give me someone's information, me explaining I have their information, I need to give it to someone who can help her, then wanting to know where this Runyon place is, then saying that she can't help. (She helpfully gave me the address of Reunion). Calls to the shelter, the Red Cross, any number of people, and I still don't have an answer, and will be at it again bright and early in the morning.

Much~ma to Dana who should not have to face this again.

Gods, Heather. I've been hearing this from other friends; it would be nice to think they could do something right.

NO one should have to deal with this crap.

So I turn to analysis, and find comfort therein.

Yeah, me too. 9/11 left me agitated until I was able to get my head around an analysis of the situation. Facts, details and distinctions were my friend. I doubt I could deal with the human side of it for any length of time without something to anchor to.

Facts, details and distinctions were my friend.

Problem is, speaking just for myself? Everything I heard about 9/11 for the first month was immediately contradicted by something else. Had I tried to anchor myself to any of those, my head would have exploded. The *only* fact I knew for certain was that my nephew's business partner had been herded back into the "safety" of WTC2, and had died there, and that a beloved friend's American SiL had lost her entire family.

So, right back to the human side - and honestly, that's the only thing I can work with. Not trusting absolutes does tend to have that one drawback: if the only thing you can believe is the humanity, the rest becomes a nonsense and a hindrance.

But that honestly is just me.

Problem is, speaking just for myself? Everything I heard about 9/11 for the first month was immediately contradicted by something else. Had I tried to anchor myself to any of those, my head would have exploded.

Ah, see, that would only have been a problem if either of us tried to deal with it the way the other one did.

Anyway, the facts etc that I found comforting were more the ones outside the situation, i.e. putting it into a broader context, than the internal stuff. This is all much more stable, facts-wise. I hardly watched the news at all in that week, after the first day at least. (And then I got most of my info from foreign news sources, though that was par for the course.)

Ah, see, that would only have been a problem if either of us tried to deal with it the way the other one did.

You're a wise man, William, you are you are. I couldn't trust a single source out there, and looking at the broader picture scared the shit out of me and made me feel both helpless (which I bloody hate) and murderous (which is not a good way to feel). So I looked where I always look first: the immediacy of the human factor, and what I could do.

Which, entre nous, was pretty much fuck-all. But still....

Problem is, speaking just for myself? Everything I heard about 9/11 for the first month was immediately contradicted by something else. Had I tried to anchor myself to any of those, my head would have exploded.

Deb, the one chuckle I had in the immediate post-9/11 days was from you. Four words: Pentagon. Terrorist pilot. Cthluhlu.