When adults treat a child differently because of who he is, it tends to rub off on the other children too

I'm evil. I immediately thought, "Hm, Harry Potter."

I guess that would make mythic ancestor, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Ha. I was sort of like that as a child...kind of intense and Too Much for the neighborhood kids.

Gah. Once again I've let myself get behind right as the discussion starts. I'm hoping to finish up tonight before the Asher talk is done. I've skimmed a bit of the discussion but I don't want to get too deeply into it before I finish reading.

Suddenly realizing it's been nearly two months since I had a weekend at home. Sigh.

For all of Asher's selfishness, what about his father's? All travel all the time, moving the family, the possible danger. Why is his calling/method better than Asher's?

Exactly!

Also -- all three family members have this monomania -- it's just that Asher's conflicts with his parents'.

For all of Asher's selfishness, what about his father's? All travel all the time, moving the family, the possible danger. Why is his calling/method better than Asher's?

Well for one thing Asher's father was out saving lives. And he was apparently very good at what he did. And for another, his dad had the support and approval of his wife, the Rebbe, and the community. In fact, the only one who disapproved was Asher. That's in sharp contrast to Asher's goals that were discouraged and eventually tolerated but never really approved of by anyone in his family or community.

So what makes Aryeh's better is that it's community approved- saving lives is an inherent good, making the world a better place, but really good art makes the world a better place too- but it is at the detriment to his family. Rivkeh was constantly worried about him, what if something had happened? After the death of her brother, she mightn't been able to deal. But, he was miserable staying home, and so he left.

I don't think either acted inherently selflessly or selfishly. I think Aryeh cared more about what he was doing for other people and how it affected their lives, although he certainly enjoyed completing his tasks and traveling. I think Asher cared more about expressing ultimate truth as an artist regardless of its effect on anyone or anything. This isn't to say that saving lives is nobler than great art, or that Aryeh is a better person than Asher. But on a spectrum of selfish and selfless I think Aryeh's goals were closer to the selfless and Asher's closer to the selfish.

And I don't understand why, what the criteria is that makes doing something you want to do, that's accepted and revered by your community less selfish than trying to explain the world, wrestling with the messy, complicated and ugliness of it, and being shunned by every one you love for your need to do it.