I just watched Troy--or the parts of Troy when I wasn't getting a snack or going to the bathroom. Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to hit "pause."

Anyway, I began to wonder pretty early on why these ancient folk all sounded like limeys, or like actors who wanted to sound like limeys. And I couldn't really come up with a reason for it. If this had been made decades ago and John Wayne had been cast as Agamemnon, you could bet Hector might've been played by Steve McQueen, Paris by Robert Vaughn. Or whatever. They wouldn't have sounded like Brits.

Then I started to wonder what they would've sounded like if the cast and writers had been replaced by their counterparts on Deadwood. And I started to translate Troy into Deadwood as I watched it--Troy--and it got to be a lot more fun. Cocksucker.

If this had been made decades ago and John Wayne had been cast as Agamemnon, you could bet Hector might've been played by Steve McQueen, Paris by Robert Vaughn.

Of such thoughts are things like "The Conqueror", with John Wayne as Genghis Khan (?) and "The Vikings", with Kirk Douglas, made.

The One True Agamemmnon is Sean Connery.

t /unrepentant Time Bandits fan

I meant Christian Bale after he started looking normal again, after The Machinist, ita.

You thought that he looked better during The Machinist? If not, he's squarely in the Clooney/etc camp -- looked worse for a role, came back to the pretteh. It's just that he went in the other weight direction.

What's different in my response to Renée (from my response to the guys) is that I thought she looked best inbetween weights, and worse at her desired weight than at her movie size.

I don't think that's what you mean about Christian, is it?

No, I believe the quote was something like, they don't look good after packing on the pounds, or something along those lines. And I said that Christian looked better after he put on weight.

It was more of a passing comment.

I think I agree with ita -- but to add that each time she put on weight for Bridget Jones when she took it off again, she took off more weight than she had put on to play the role, thus leading to her scary 2-dimensional look at this year's Oscars.

And I said that Christian looked better after he put on weight.

But it's a completely flawed parallel. Christian Bale changed his body for a role, went back to normal, and looks better. RZ changed her body for a role, went back to normal, and looks worse.

I don't think Bale looks better than he did before losing all that weight for The Machinist. The rapid weight loss sharpened up his features in a not-prettier way, kind of like what happened to Marsters with all the weight training in 2001-2002. I'd say the period from All the Little Animals to Laurel Canyon was his most appealing period, with the zenith during the latter film.

I don't think Bale looks better than he did before losing all that weight for The Machinist.

I do, but I suspect that's the suit talking to me...