And although Franken might pay money for it, I think they'd make about $250, tops, on the whole effort.

They have to pay their interns somehow.

Heh. From the Village Voice review of Alexander:

Aristotle (Christopher Plummer) is forthright in his belief that well-moderated gay fucking will "build a city-state and lift us from our frog pond," while Alexander's passionate longtime companionship with first lieutenant Hephaistion (Leto) is the movie's only love story. Predominant among a few laugh getters is Hephaistion's silent, bedroom-eyes beseechment for nookie augmented by a slight toss of Anistonian hair, only to be told by his top, "Not on the eve of a battle." Once Babylon is taken from the Persians (yes, Stone goes for a replay of Intolerance's vertical pan, although naturally nothing we see is real), the two diehards lounge around in silk robes with chaliced cocktails like a married couple at the Pines. They even pledge to meet in Hades like Achilles and Patroclus, which is more than Troy had nerve for.

Indeed, if Angelina Jolie, as A's sorceress-mother Olympias, white pythons entwined around her legs, seems destined for a Maria Montez Lifetime Achievement in Vamp Award, Stone reaches for screaming-mimi drama queenhood. When Alexander, having conquered the Persians, decides to take the peasant girl Roxane (Rosario Dawson) as his wife, a puddle-eyed Leto appears with his mascara running like Dorothy Malone's to present his own engagement ring. The gay trysts are always implied but l'amour fou is not, especially at Hephaistion's deathbed, where Leto trembles like Wuthering Heights' Cathy, and Stone scores another unintentional hilarity as odyssey-worn Alexander wanders to the window blabbing about the adventures the army will have in the spring while his lover endures lonely death throes in the background.

Modern camp classic?

Last night I finally saw Seabiscuit, which I enjoyed quite a bit. I was sorry there wasn't any text on the screen at the end, saying what happened to the characters and the horse later on.

Also watched: The Mummy Returns, which I found very disappointing, although the ending was pretty cool.

Started watching I Am Sam last night. Now, I had fairly low expectations for this movie, but I was not expected to hate it as much as I did. I haven't seen the last 45 minutes or so yet, but I'm not expecting it to get better.

You've got the cliched lawyer who's about to learn a Very Important Lesson, lots of montages of "Look how much he loves his daughter!", creepy Dakota Fanning (I swear, she's an adult in a very tiny body) ... I'm sure there's more, but even just typing this makes me frown.

What was the Buffista consensus on this one?

Ouch (and heh) - from Matt Zoller Seitz's review of BEYOND THE SEA in the New York Press:

Now that Spacey's dream has come true, viewers have the chance to see a two-hour film with little film sense, about a phenomenally selfish entertainer who was a prick to pretty much everyone, played by an actor who's 15 years too old for the part and who insists on doing all his own singing and dancing even though he's not very good. To quote Dallas Observer columnist Robert Wilonsky's observation about Vanilla Ice during his ganja-and-dredlocks phase, "The kid's got balls of steel. Too bad they're rolling around in his head."

AND

Darin was a graceful dancer, and his singing boasted spot-on rhythm and an easy mastery of phrasing and pitch; Spacey dances like Pee-Wee Herman on a hot plate, and his off-pitch, rhythm-free singing is so lackluster that if he wasn't playing Darin and singing Darin's hits, you would never be able to guess whom he was imitating. And yet, movie star ass-kissing being what it is, we're forced to endure scene after scene where Spacey mangles Darin's hits only to be applauded by shrieking girls—and in one case, by a studio full of professional musicians.

Now that Spacey's dream has come true, viewers have the chance to see a two-hour film with little film sense, about a phenomenally selfish entertainer who was a prick to pretty much everyone, played by an actor who's 15 years too old for the part and who insists on doing all his own singing and dancing even though he's not very good.

Oh, ouch. And yet, so so true, except that I thought Spacey's performance in the musical numbers was terrific. They almost made the movie worth watching. (Actually, I quite enjoyed a lot of it. It has an air of "Love me, love my absurd sense of melodrama" that made the general suckiness of the framing device kind of fun in spite of itself.)

If I liked Spacey at all I'd feel horribly embarrassed and sorry for him over the reviews this trainwreck has been getting. As it is, they fill me with wonderful malicious glee.

If I liked Spacey at all I'd feel horribly embarrassed and sorry for him over the reviews this trainwreck has been getting. As it is, they fill me with wonderful malicious glee.

His live show in San Francisco got an absolute rave.

Sure, rain on my parade. Ah well, maybe he'll run afoul of a truant officer while there, or somesuch.

Sure, rain on my parade. Ah well, maybe he'll run afoul of a truant officer while there, or somesuch.

If it's any consolation, the clip on the last Daily Show looked kind of terrible.