But looking for spoilers or the schedule for your favorite television show online, finding that the show was on hiatus, and seeing a bunch of people saying funny shit about your fave television show, and responding to that, and then gradually becoming the best of friends is kraxy. It's Cause for Concern.

I think the key word there is "online." Meeting someone in the supermarket is still meeting someone, and that's why it's somehow acceptable. Most people can't fathom the idea that communication online is a valid form of building relationships. Like Maria said, all the bad stuff is so publicized that no one realizes that you know what, people online are still, you know, people.

For me, people online are just people I haven't met yet.

The idea that there are ways to make friends, and some are right and some are wrong -- and that the way is more important than the friend. It's still a person, right?

And, all over again today, ita nails what I was trying to say and walking around it and failing. ita, want to write my grant-report for me, as well? I'm really doing miserably at that.

want to write my grant-report for me, as well?

Sure, if you're willing to learn this software module I'm in training for.

At this point, everything seems better. OK, where is that distort-space-and-time machine?

When I was on set for Angel, someone asked me how I knew Tim. I went blanker than blank. There's outing people, and there's outing people. However, he's probably way high profile net-fiend. It just didn't feel like something *I* should be saying.

I always get embarassed when Tim introduces me to someone as "the person who put that Variety ad together for Firefly," or, "she's a fan."

I always feel like it puts me on a kraxy level right off. I mean, I am a fan, and I did help put the ad together. And he's grateful and thinks that's a special amazing thing, so he means nothing but respect there. But I also think it puts me in a weird place. I think I once said, "and I also have a life" as I shook someone's hand.

Steph, you...you...you...nah. I don't really disagree with any of that. It's actually much nicer than how I would have put it myself. But we totally need to find a level for the ficcers. Because there has been far far too much drama in the fic world for them not to get a rung of their very own.

ETA:

I always get embarassed when Tim introduces me to someone as "the person who put that Variety ad together for Firefly," or, "she's a fan."

When did this shift happen by the way? Because I distinctly remember a time when he wouldn't mention the fan thing at all. At the time, I got the sense that Tim might have been a wee bit embarassed by it.

she's a fan

Allyson, remember how come I didn't remember to take my camera out of my bag and use it to take pictures on the dinenr with you and Kristen and Tim? At first, I explained this to myself with the over-40-hours-of-no-sleep thing, which, while still true, seems lacking to me later. When I thought aboutit a bit, I realized that what I was lucky enough to attend was a dinner among friends (the three of you), who were kind enough to share their time together with, well, me. It wasn't a fan event (as far as I could tell - I've never participated in one), it was about the people that were there having a good time together, enjoying their connection, discussing and laughing and snarking and just being together, and me getting to take a peek. And usually a person isn't hung on taking lots of pictures from a "dinner with friends", and since that the atmosphere I got from you three, well, I just went along with it. Friends.

I feel the same way about getting autographs from my writer friends. It feels like turning a deep relationship into a surface one.

Can I ask how, or is that too personal? What was it that made him get past his initial worry about where you were meeting new friends, and what caused the initial worry?

Not at all. For reference, this was earlier in our relationship, before I delurked on b.org. I never made the distinction about how I knew these friends. Not meant to be malicious, but I didn't think it was important, and he did. We talked about it, worked through the issues, and he's good. It didn't help that there was other stuff going on around us that contributed to some communication problems. Now, if I meet Vortex or meara for dinner, there's no quibble. He knows they're my "Buffy friends" and the only thing he says is, "Have fun!"

He had no idea that there were people online who weren't looking to cheat on their significant others, scam the elderly out of their hard-earned retirement, or hack into sensitive government databases. Like I said upthread, he was really and truly clueless as to how the internet is today. There were some unresolved trust issues that he had to deal with, stemming from his last relationship, and he projected that onto me. Once that was dealt with and he understood I wasn't undergoing a 180 personality swing and trying to kick him to the curb, we moved on.

My initial post was for illustrative purposes. There is a large group of people out there who don't get the phenomena of online communities and friendship. Didn't Nilly have to reassure her family that she wasn't headed off to meet with mass murderers, who are the same people who raised a significant amount of money for someone they'd never "met"? I don't think my situation was all that different. It's like trying to explain BtVS or AtS to someone who's never watched--you really can't without it sounding a bit silly and simplistic. For that person to understand what either show is about, they'd have to watch.

Didn't Nilly have to reassure her family that she wasn't headed off to meet with mass murderers

My mom certainly thought I was going to meet my imminent doom. She got over it when I returned unscathed, with my virtue intact.