I think what it comes down to is that if we think our friend is alive, we see our actions with one lens, and if we think our friend is dead, we see it with another.

You're forgetting the option about not feeling quite so friendly after being jerked around.

Sorry, Vortex, I didn't mean to make it appear as if I was particularly responding to you using the word; I wrote that before seeing your post!

oh, no worries!

Yes, much of how I'll eventually feel is tied to whether or not "Gus" is really dead. If he decided to leave the board/identity by a sham death, that's a big betrayal of us all. It doesn't seem to square up with the genuine affection he gave and received -- he did real favors for people and the board as a whole. It seems way too dark an act that I have trouble believing that the man/person behind the curtain would do such a thing.

There are always questions when someone dies. Do you demand answers with a bull horn or whispers?

I've had to do both in my time, and I'll have to do it again. It's kind of in the job description. And I don't know if Gus was a real person or not. But I do know death. Rather well, actually. And I know I've rarely seen a death that didn't kick up questions -- sometimes minor questions, easily answerable questions, but questions nonetheless.

Because people are strange, inconsistent creatures, so inconsistencies in people's lives or stories of themselves don't throw me much. You only get to see people at an angle, and on the Internet, you only get to see them from a very narrow angle. Death's got a way of forcing everything into relief ... you realize how much you never saw of a person. Even an ostensibly fictional person whom a lot of people liked but no one really knew.

That realization is kind-of crazy making, and I think it's time for everyone to put those questions away. For a little while, at least. Step back and forgive each other and ourselves for emotions running high. It happens.

Copious, yes. Gleeful? Hell, no. There's been great relief expressed by people who'd gone for months or even years feeling like they were theonly one with doubts, but no glee. And absolutely everyone, even the strongest doubters, has bent over backwards to express tremendous fondness for Gus. Whoever he was or is, whatever is true or untrue or true but unverifiable, there isn't a person here who hasn't loved on his cranky wit and flirtatiousness and huge Firefly love. People have said over and over that he has been a beloved member of the community, that whether he's died or just decided to leave he will be terribly missed and it will be a great loss.

The people who need closure and resolution have been aggressive in looking at all the pieces and trying to see how they fit together and what bigger picture they make -- but there's been zero glee, just sadness and frustration that the doubts exist at all.

I know you're horribly upset Trudy, and I'm sorry, but I don't recognize the spiteful, callus b.org you describe at all.

People are saying what I'm thinking much better than usual, so I'ma repeat myself and say that I agree with Jilli, and I think victor has a good idea. Maybe table any discussion for a day?

I will say again that the only thing that surprises me is that anyone who knows the inquisitive, resourceful nature of b.org would be surprised by the asking of questions OR by the loving way they are framed for the most part.

Maybe table any discussion for a day?

You know we did this occasionally when were hashing out parliamentary stuff and things got heated, but I think this is a different circumstance.

The only person that's deviating from civil discourse is Trudy. If people don't want to talk about it, or feel like they know enough to have an informed opinion they don't have to participate any further. If people need to continue to discuss it, then why shut it down?

The thread will self-regulate.

Some people are processing it through this discussion. I don't see the point in tabling it because Trudy's going off the rails.

The thread will self-regulate.

Agreed.

And to address brenda's earlier point - the reason people quickly got suspicious is because the manner of the announcement was standard for a pseudicide, there were long held suspicions about Gus' story, and the inability to find any verifiable data about either the death or the person was a huge red flag.

I don't think people were looking to debunk or pounce. I think most people googled on his name to learn more about him, and then the questions came. That's what happened with me.

Fuck, I was the one who proposed a thread for a wake. Obviously my first impulse wasn't to attack Gus or his memory.