So, the bad guy was an eye on fire on top of a tower?
Uh huh. Also, a huge lighthouse.
I thought Eric the Viking dies in the first one, does his brother have the same name?
Pretty much, yes.
Where the hell were the stinky elves going?
California. Actually, Catalina Island. It's all about this heaven-like, perfect-hair, never-sweat oasis of calm and nice clothes and beachy play. So, of course, humans are not invited.
Wasn't Frodo supposed to die?
He decided to pine for the fjords instead. And then go there! (He got a special invitation. Also, I mean, except for the whole slogging-through-a-volcano period, he cleaned up reasonably well. Except for the not wearing shoes.)
Did ita's Boytoy also go sailing, or is he a Knight of the Round Table?
I think he stayed for love of his stinky human and dwarfy companions.
Aren't those hobbits a buncha ingrates for not throwing a party for the Frodo Contingency? I mean, they have celebrations for Snack Time, the little bastards.
As far as they know, Frodo just went on a really long walk. They're a little clueless on the "I was (nearly) a teenaged Dark Lord!" front.
What was CrazyAss Daddy's problem?
He was crazy. Yeah, no, that part made no sense in the movie.
Why didn't anyone kick Pippin's ass?
It was too small. They could not find it with their Boots of Smiting.
Why did the Orcs and gremlins retreat like the French when there were so many more of them than there were of the hairbags?
They are wimpy. Also, it's tough to hold a Maginot line when you have no tanks and the very ground under your feet is flipping out.
Is the Eye on Fire dead now? I mean, it's an eye. Where the hell is the rest of him?
He went ZOT! When people go zot, even if they have no other body parts but an eye, they are effectively gone from this here earth.
The wizard guy that fucked with Gandalfe is now powerless, how? He's being guarded by a tree?
Yeah, pretty much. Gandalf took his job and had him demoted, so yeah.
Why didn't anyone kick Pippin's ass?
No one can hurt Pippin! I LOVE him. Also, he has a nice singing voice.
Although I am glad to see posts go up in here, as I, too have watched without reading the books and have irritating questions like
How did Eowyn and Faramir seemingly end up together, as I think they have never met?
There was chatting-up in the pre-Coronation drink ticket line? They were the only two single nobles taller than 4 feet in all of Gondor?
Uh. They meet and schmoop in a part PJ left out. It is apparently in the EE.
Also? The PTB with the "No Man Can Kill the Guy in the Grim Reaper Suit" clause were funny. How clever.
What isn't clever is the rhyming names, because it makes my head go 'splody.
I still think they should have just launched a fork at the Evil Eye.
Yeah. The answer is, that happened in a chapter that did not make it into the short version of the movie. If not for expectation of the long version, there would be no logical basis for assuming they end up together at all -- they should, according to the movie, be complete strangers at the coronation.
But you get extra points for picking up the vibe.
The PTB with the "No Man Can Kill the Guy in the Grim Reaper Suit" clause were funny. How clever.
Oh yeah, laugh now -- when it's you that can't be killed except for by a seagull flying errant across a Los Angeles freeway, and you happen to be on a Los Angeles freeway the day a peregrine falcon is in the mood for some sea-bird for dinner, and the laws of physics take over --
Okay, yeah. That was Fate stuffing the ballot box.
What isn't clever is the rhyming names, because it makes my head go 'splody.
What, you didn't mind Frodo and Meriadoc? Did we mention Frodo's father was named Drogo, and his uncle is Bilbo? I think he had some cousins named Dodo and Bingo and Hojo and Bongo.
(Probably best we not tell her about Ar-Adunakhor and that lot.)
And there's that Aragorn, son of Arathorn business. It was a thing. I think it was supposed to help you remember your lineage back to the One True Hobbit if all the names in your line made a little song.
Oin, son of Groin. It's all good.
The shire makes me want to kill people.
And there's that Aragorn, son of Arathorn business.
Who was also called "Strider" and "Elessar".
Dude had more aliases than a L.A. felon.
The shire makes me want to kill people.
Well, you'd be tallest person there, so you could.
