I wonder what the definition of abuse is? I mean, I thought it was almost murder when Walter Ludwig broke up with me junior year and started seeng someone who was at the SAME BUS STOP AS ME, who I had to see every morning and afternoon. Also, she wore shorts over tights, which was hideous.

Luckily, that's as bad as it got for me, although I certainly knew some friends who were in more unhealthy relationships. Only one of all the girls I knew had a relationship which went into the realm of abuse...that I knew of.

Jesus Christ! Shorts over tights?

I agree, Kat. That seems really high. I hope it's incorrect.

It seems high to me. But there seems to be an undercurrent of "if I don't have a sweetie, I'm nobody" running through too much of teenhood. Which means that too often, people who have no real idea of how to handle a relationship get into the wrong relationship with the wrong sweetie (BTW, gender neutrality intentional) and stay for the wrong reasons.

E.g., Buffy, who treated it as a big revelation at the end of "I Was Made to Love You" when she realized that she didn't need to pursue Ben just to have a boyfriend.

So while 1 in 5 seems high, I wouldn't be surprised if teens are more likely to be in abusive relationships than older persons.

It was the '70s.

Yes, but she wore bright yellow tights. It was not a good look for any era.

Truth be told, she was a very nice person and showed my ex had very good taste in the chicks.

Thanks for the info, Betsy!

Nutty, the book that Tashijian wrote is called Faultline and it comes with an afterword in which she talks about Naomi Wolff's book, Promiscuities where Wolff talks about being physically abused by her boyfriend when she was in high school. Then she talks about the JAMA study. And she follows it up with

When I talked to professionals about these statistics, most thought they were low.

I'd love to see the study.

anyhow, I like how in the book, Tashijian writes an abusive character who isn't a stereotypical monster. He's a nice guy most or some of the time and then he's an abusive prick other times. It's a good story. But sad.

I wore shorts over tights all the time in college. Bright pink tights, denim shorts. With my Mardi Gras pendant from the Krewe of Endymion. I still think it was kind of a good look, actually. I, um, read books while wearing this outfit.

I was never in any relationships as a teen, much less abusive ones.

Did you complete your outfit with striped ankle socks and did you have perky flower appliques all over your shorts and matching vest? DID YOU? Well, then.

FWIW, I did a little googling and the JAMA article isn't easily gotten at without a subscription. News articles citing it all simplify and none of them offers definitions of terms or even methods. (One did clarify that it was 9th-12th graders only.)

A Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey for 1997 comes up with the same statistic, which is on the slowest server in the world. Ah -- the 2001 survey lists 11% of all respondents (16% of females, 6% of males) as having been "hurt physically or sexually by a date or someone they were going out with" and 10% (14% f, 5% m) have had sexual contact against their will. All this in chapter 5, at

[link]

In the same study (chapter 7), 21% of all respondents rarely or never wore seatbelts. And 31% had been in a car where the driver had been drinking within the 30 days prior to the survey. 31%!!

Clearly, it is a miracle that anyone survives adolescence.

I often wore purple corduroy knickerbockers, a matching bolero vest, and a lavender blouse that tied at the neck.

Just call me Little Lord Fauntleroy.