You summed it up, Jon. Tone is a consideration. But, I'd have to say that it is given by the reader.

Elena:

Unavoidable? I sincerely believe that a little patience, benefit-of-the-doubt-giving, and asking for clarity can make this completely avoidable.

Rafmun:

Perhaps it would behove oldbies to judge newbies exclusively by the content of the words they write, rather than attempting to infer tone from people they don't know from Job?

I don't believe there's any way to strip all tone from any given post. Or, that if I de-tone, and MM de-tones, we're still not going to have the same impressions. This isn't and can't be science. It's people and language. At the very least, we still bring ourselves to all the reading.

At which point does a newbie get tone assigned, then? When do I get to switch back on my humanity when reading posts? It's not like I have a sandbox where I can experiment with newbie tones until I work out what fits, but somehow not have that flood into "real" board life.

Simple things like "she seems nice" and "that's a bit cold" just happen.

And even if I could magically take tone out, what about the tone the writer put in? I don't think most of us can write that dispassionately, even when we try.

I can't possibly understand you or your present emotional level. That requires physical contact.

I'm afraid I don't understand this viewpoint at all.

Many of my closest friendships have developed over the internet, with face-to-face contact occuring quite late in the game, if at all.

I think one can infer a lot from tone--intelligence, sense of humor, openness, attitude, but live communication is still better for nuances. As a matter of fact, I know it is from captioning--we have to add descriptors a lot, so those who can only read the words get the information they miss from the inflection and pauses and all the subtle indicators we use when a person is speaking. We break sentences and ad "um" and descriptors in an effort to make up for what the words by themselves can't get across. Once again, this is a matter of sentences rather than whole posts, or weeks of posts, but it still matters.

I don't think most of us can write that dispassionately, even when we try.

I agree. But more often than not, is it not this passion that is misinterpreted?

is it not this passion that is misinterpreted?

Which passion?

I still maintain that while it's a flawed process, it's more often than not successful, and lends a great deal to the attraction of an online environment.

Tone?

So five minutes ago. ;)

So five minutes ago. ;)

Let's do Hue next.

I can't possibly understand you or your present emotional level. That requires physical contact.

I think this is really a question of different personalities and how different people interact. Except with close family and friends, I'm usually much better at understanding people, and being understood, through writing. In person, at least until I'm comfortable enough to physically relax around someone, I give off an impression of "scared and somewhat stand-offish." People frequently think I'm nervous. I can't totally control the vocal inflections and physical things that make people think that. In writing, I can make a choice of exactly which words get typed.

I can't remember an instance where people misunderstood my obvious tone. If I didn't get it across, that's my fault. Just because you say your tone is meant as gentle criticism, doesn't mean it is.