Not a dictatorship? From the woman who commanded pink and made it so? Pft.

Online, the error rate is so high as to make the belief that we are accurately judging tone one of mostly self-dillusion. Yeah, we can make informed guesses, but that's all they are -guesses.

I don't think this is fact. Are you presenting it as such? If so, we'd have no banter, nor would we make friends. Tone invited ita into my home, made me want to care for her. I didn't know what the problems were in Michigan, but I read the urgent desperation of needing. to. get. out.

I wrote to her because of her tone. ita was not an ax murderer, she would never take advantage of me, or harm me, or steal my television.

I knew that from tone. And slept comfortably with her, here, right from the start.

Clearly, you're wrong.

Tone?

From the beginning? Relentlessly smug self-righteousness. That's your tone.

Tone?

My point is that assigning tone to a post can be very unfair to the poster and can lead to much difficulty.

My point is that it's a) unavoidable b) often the glue which binds us together and makes this a rewarding experience.

I wrote to her because of her tone. ita was not an ax murderer, she would never take advantage of me, or harm me, or steal my television.

I knew that from tone. And slept comfortably with her, here, right from the start.

Clearly, you're wrong.

I'm just going to comment that there are plenty of people who feel the exact same way as you and some of them have been burned really badly.

Real life meetings seem to set the tone in most internet situations. Having not met quite a few of you, I can't possibly understand you or your present emotional level. That requires physical contact. And even then, that can yield flawed results.

My point is that it's a) unavoidable b) often the glue which binds us together and makes this a rewarding experience.

Unavoidable? I sincerely believe that a little patience, benefit-of-the-doubt-giving, and asking for clarity can make this completely avoidable. As for your second point - it can also be the flame that makes it a hellish experience.

When I search the set of ThingsRobinMeant by any unclear statement, it's a much smaller job than searching through the set of context free intimations possible.

Perhaps it would behove oldbies to judge newbies exclusively by the content of the words they write, rather than attempting to infer tone from people they don't know from Job?

And none of this addresses the fact that I was today blasted for my "tone" when I specifically outlined exactly what my tone was intended to be from the beginning, in anticipation of the potential for misunderstanding.

Rejecting my overt statement regarding my tone was a pretty darn good example of what I was arguing in the first place - that a few posters are becoming very aggressive, and effectively bullying other posters - newbies, soft-spoken posters, and oldbies alike.

I can't possibly understand you or your present emotional level

I am very glad this doesn't hold true for everyone, because I might still be in Michigan.

Okay -- overstatement. But understanding my tone got people to help me leave MI, and understanding theirs helped me accept the help. And most of them (Allyson included) I'd never met before.

So, like any human interaction, first impressions, last impressions, assumptions -- can turn out for the best or for the worst, whether or not you're in person or not.

oh, what the hell ...

Having just gone over 300+ posts, I found Rafmun's tone to be rigidly formal, well-educated, and choosing words very carefully so that they said what he/she/it meant.

From the beginning? Relentlessly smug self-righteousness. That's your tone

Allyson, is this how you define smugly self-righteous?

I can't possibly understand you or your present emotional level. That requires physical contact.

Ooooh, disagree.

But with that, I need to go read something I promised I would read.