LJ - I'm going to go with the suggestion that we are never going to find the "one" solution to this issue, and not post my observations of the "welcome wagon".

If someone takes their time to lurk, even for a bit, they will see this is a unique group of people who can have amazing discussions on a wide variety of subjects, tame and controversial. And yet in the end, even the most bitter participants will send each other tiaras.

I lurk because I have a hard time keeping up, and I don't want to be a constant stream of - "what scrappy said", or find myself with a guac facial. When I do post, sometimes I feel like I am talking to thin air, but oh well. I keep trying.

There are too many of us for any type of behavior modification.

I really don't think previous posts counseling a bit more patience with newbies are advocating behavior modification.

Well at least it's no more Stepfording then asking Buffistas to please try and stop the dead horse beating.

Now who took my riding crop?

or find myself with a guac facial.

Suit yourself, but it's amazingly moisturising.

Can this be dropped now?

Honestly, the last time I got a smackdown was for trying to cut off a discussion. The discussion will be over when people stop talking about it.

I should edit that to say "guac stains on my clothing" cause, yeah, moisty goodness.

Also figures, I mention tiaras and there is the Tiara Exchange posting in bitches. Wish the F2F was even a possibility.

Not thin air, lexine.

Mmmm, I love the smell of bureau in the morning. FWIW, I generally like the quarterly episodes of "how I feel about this board" as long as they don't devolve into namecalling. It's so much beautiful content.

(I honestly don't know why I'm so zen today. Must have been the weekend off.)

ANYWAY, here's how *I* feel!

Still, a couple of times after delurking, I found myself thinking people would just as soon I left by the nearest exit. Not guacamole, exactly, but a definite chill when I tried to join in the conversation. Polite, but who the fuck are you?

This is exactly right (except for people wishing you would leave), and I notice the chill with new people, too. It's hurtful, but sort of unavoidable. It's a byproduct of a culture with a lot of people who know each other, instead of a board where if you have the same interest, you're an instant citizen. I don't think it's really much different from joining any sort of clique. The open nature of this board can be deceiving. But there are people who probably feel that it's our responsibility to be as welcoming as possible.

Another thing is that it's annoying when people delurk and then respond to every post in every thread (see above) but everyone stops doing that sooner or later. I probably did it too.

But there are people who probably feel that it's our responsibility to be as welcoming as possible.

discreetly drips guacamole on Shawn's Jimmy Choo's

but everyone stops doing that sooner or later

later for some

points at self

When I do post, sometimes I feel like I am talking to thin air, but oh well. I keep trying.

word. I *think* everyone feels like that sometimes. I know I do.

FWIW, I generally like the quarterly episodes of "how I feel about this board"

As do I.

I'm going to go with the suggestion that we are never going to find the "one" solution to this issue, and not post my observations of the "welcome wagon".

Fair enough. I'm still curious to know what you mean, if you ever feel up to going into it. But it's not something that needs to be delved into nownownow.

I generally like the quarterly episodes of "how I feel about this board" as long as they don't devolve into namecalling. It's so much beautiful content.

Me too. Much better than 400 posts about pizza.

(And I agree with Tina that pretty much everyone gets the talking-into-thin-air feeling sometimes.)