But this is just basic, basic communication skills. This isn't something unique to here, or something that people should have to be gently trained to follow.

You think it's basic because it's natural to you (or else you learned it young). There are people -- and I'm kind of like this, though less so now than a few years ago -- who will happily get into passionate, long-running arguments over whether the sky is blue or not. It takes time to realize the adrenaline rush you get from being right isn't worth the pain of constantly pissing people off. And while we aren't unique in this, we do seem to be more conflict-averse than normal as a group.

Signed, has learned that swallowing hard and scrolling on past is her friend.

Several possible reasons for this feeling. The board is about to go through a big change as the end of the Buffyverse appears nigh. In current events, the world feels on the cusp of -- some big changes in some direction or other. So, a lot of uncertainty, plus the end of a rough winter in many areas.

It's funny to me how many factors are identical to where we were last year, and how prickly we were then. I had thought about six weeks ago that revisiting my non-prolif position was in order because we don't need to worry about a flood of newbies anymore. Plus ca change...

I've hucked the guac at a wall and peed in the punch.

Still here.

Maybe with fewer friends.

I'm WRODing Plei, and adding that I'm not modifying any behavior. This is what it is.

You think it's basic because it's natural to you (or else you learned it young). There are people -- and I'm kind of like this, though less so now than a few years ago -- who will happily get into pasisonate, long-running arguments over whether the sky is blue or not.

I have an EQ of 13.

It's not natural to me. It's observed and learned, and enforced through smackdowns I've received through the years. I still often know the taste of my toes.

As for there being no such thing as tone? BS. There is tone, and yes, it may be in the eye of the beholder, but it's still a factor. My tone right now? Probably too cranky and strident, frankly. Because I'm tired, and I know things aren't going to come across quite how I mean them.

This is in the site ettiquette, by the way:

There are no short cuts to fitting in. And when you're one of eight hundred registrations and a couple of hundred active posters? The onus is going to rest entirely in your lap.

That seems to have been our thought last time we had this talk.

There is tone, and yes, it may be in the eye of the beholder, but it's still a factor.

Seconded. Choice of words also sets a tone. I (and maybe this is just me) tend to put things like "um," into my posts to show I'm being tentative.

And as much as some people look down on emoticons, I like them as substitutes for facial expression and body language.

Is it weird that I love the fact that people stand up and say, "I fell into the guacamole, and I'm still here?" It gives me a warm fuzzy, for some strange reason.

I think quacamole is gonna need to go in the FAQ (or ettiquette).

I think quacamole is gonna need to go in the FAQ.

It's a very useful concept. Kudos to Allyson for the coinage.

thankees.

I think the useful thing is that one can recover and have the pants steamcleaned. Some folks will always think of you as That Dork, others will laugh and pick you up and hand you some seltzer and a towel. But you can recover, if you've got some finesse.

As for there being no such thing as tone? BS. There is tone, and yes, it may be in the eye of the beholder, but it's still a factor. My tone right now? Probably too cranky and strident, frankly. Because I'm tired, and I know things aren't going to come across quite how I mean them.

Seems kind of loud and clear to me. Smackdown. It's not just for newbies anymore. Or I might be miss interpreting your tone.

I find the board less and less tolerant of people not in the "inner circle". I miss the kinder, gentler, table talk days. *shrug*