Book: Where's the doctor? Not back yet? Zoe: (beat) We don't make him hurry for the little stuff. He'll be along. Book: He could hurry... a little.

'Safe'


Bureaucracy 2: Like Sartre, Only Longer  

A thread to discuss naming threads, board policy, new thread suggestions, and anything else that has to do with board administration and maintenance. Guaranteed to include lively debate and polls. Natter discouraged, but not deleted.

Current Stompy Feet: ita, Jon B, DXMachina, P.M. Marcontell, Liese S., amych


DavidS - Mar 29, 2004 8:32:16 am PST #7686 of 10005
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

They were no worse than the rebukes made to Typo in the same thread and timeframe.

The longevity thing works both ways, such that getting a rebuke after you've been around a while, stings less than it does for a new poster. Which is perfectly fair for the long time folks - you get more slack, and you know you're not reviled when you get the choke chain.

However, I'm not talking about what's fair as a general principle here, so much as making an effort to be gentler and more patient with new folks. I don't think we were unfair - I just think we can be better than fair because it is to our advantage to show people how things work around here. Many, many valued posters started here with more than a few trips into the guacamole dip.

The one thing I would note in this paraticular instance is that any one of those rebuke/responses would have been enough. Multiple jerks on the choke-chain was too much. Also, a little Good Cop/ Bad Cop could've been helpful. Which did kind of happen down the line - folks taking a gentler tone: "It's okay. People make mistakes. We've all done it."


DavidS - Mar 29, 2004 8:34:59 am PST #7687 of 10005
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Can I just say (and this is not directed at you, Hec) that I hate that people get so hostile about Bureau et. al.?

Me too. I resent it. But it's not a big deal either.


aurelia - Mar 29, 2004 8:37:23 am PST #7688 of 10005
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

For what it's worth I don't think Beej's tone was intended the way it was taken, but I also see why people took it the way they did. (Um, in Minearverse. I have no idea what happened elsewhere.) I guess I feel that if the first admonition had been a little more gentle things would've gone better. On the other hand, this was certainly not the worst smackdown I've witnessed around here.


Allyson - Mar 29, 2004 8:42:31 am PST #7689 of 10005
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

Did you understand that it wasn't something she had written, but a cut-and-paste?

That made it worse. I understood that right away, and it seemed both patronizing and cheap. As well as arrogant and uncaring. Whether or not she meant it, I had just hoped she'd go away and not return.


DavidS - Mar 29, 2004 9:00:49 am PST #7690 of 10005
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Whether or not she meant it, I had just hoped she'd go away and not return.

Yeah, see, I don't think this is the idea we want to get across with new posters.


bicyclops - Mar 29, 2004 9:05:07 am PST #7691 of 10005

To me it seemed that the whole kerfuffle started over the word "aptitude". As LJ noted, Beej had pasted the screed from VVAW. The "aptitude test" was the VVAW writer's attempt to put the screed in a "humorous" frame. Beej simply posted the screed verbatim, without giving a second thought to how the word "aptitude" could be interpreted, and certainly didn't appear to intend for it to be taken the way it was.

My back went up on the "quiz" and then in two subsequent posts.

Her first subsequent post reads like a sincere apology to me. Am I missing something?


Allyson - Mar 29, 2004 9:11:13 am PST #7692 of 10005
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

But, being a strong believer in signs. This will be me signing off. God bless you all.

This bothered me. (Oh no! Come back!)

And then the following apology seemed to be more of an education on how to properly communicate.

But these are my "back up" issues. She's hitting them all with a sledgehammer, and so, I mostly ignored. Mostly. I scroll past, and often don't respond to, people who get my back up on a regular basis. It's not really their fault, I just protect the easily bruised areas and move on. Me me me me me.

Which this isn't about.


Allyson - Mar 29, 2004 9:12:02 am PST #7693 of 10005
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

Also? I feel like I'm talking about her behind her back, and I wish she were here.


Dana - Mar 29, 2004 9:24:51 am PST #7694 of 10005
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.

Poked my head into the Minearverse (Thanks, Nilly), and I have to say, I don't see a whole lot of difference in the way people responded to TypoBoy and to Beej. The only difference is that she's newer. So do we modify our behavior around newbies, or do we toss them in and let them sink or swim?

(That's an honest question, by the way, and shouldn't sound quite as ruthless as it does.)


P.M. Marc - Mar 29, 2004 9:27:23 am PST #7695 of 10005
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

Many, many valued posters started here with more than a few trips into the guacamole dip.

Yeah, but you don't react to tripping in the dip by telling the rest of the people at the party they shouldn't have had the dip in the way in the first place, which is what the apology of sorts felt like.

I was blunt after she asked what got people's backs up, specifically because she'd asked, and I meant it when I said it wouldn't be fair to not be blunt.

Edited to add:

So do we modify our behavior around newbies, or do we toss them in and let them sink or swim?

Somewhere between the two? Depends on how they jump in the water?

I'd like to point out in fairness to the non-new people that we have a lot of new people right now, and not every new person has received a cross-posted smackdown. While I see where we are a lot less patient than we were ages ago (once bitten, twice shy), we're not exactly out for newbie blood.