I cannot leave her alone for more than a few minutes or she starts wailing.

Aw, poor nugget. I'm glad she has you now.

But this article -- which was in The BMJ, a high-impact medical journal -- called applesauce an ultra-processed food, and the whole study really lost some credibility with me.

Yeah, because of Maintenance Phase, I'll be nodding along when it sounds reasonable until I hit the record-scratch moment and realize it's just sparkling orthorexia.

it's just sparkling orthorexia.

Shit, that's exactly it. I didn't even think of it that way, but it totally is.

And the downside to the ludicrous decision to call applesauce an ultra-processed food is that, if I'm comparing apple(sauce) to oranges, and fucking applesauce is a Big Bad Ultraprocessed Food, then fuck it; I'm going to get a sausage and egg McMuffin instead, because it's ultra-processed, too, and if they're both evil, then I'm getting the one that is the best breakfast sandwich ever (voted on by: me), and not just apple ground into a paste.

How fucking stupid.

(I'm not really getting a McMuffin, but you see where following this "logic" ends up. I actually love oatmeal like the old lady I am, so I'm going to keep eating it and keep tempting early death by putting applesauce in it.) (For fuck's sake, it's not like I'm stirring buttercream frosting into my oatmeal. What the fuck.) (I feel very strongly about applesauce, apparently.)

Sounds like the time I was reading some article about nutrition and the guy called grapes "Nature's candy." Fuck you, dude, I'm eating grapes if I want to, and I might even put cottage cheese on them.

the guy called grapes "Nature's candy."

Was it Chris Traeger?

it's just sparkling orthorexia.

This is a fantastic phrase. I'm going to keep it in my head.

I remember seeing nutrition "advice" about avoiding carrots, because "they're full of sugar". I rolled my eyes hard.

Was it Chris Traeger?

Sadly not.

Toddson just delete the cilantro.

I kinda lost my shit with an employee today, like not really but I was short and raised my voice and like literally anyone within earshot knows I am F-in done with them. They don’t even work in my section, but sit nearby and they COMPLAIN LOUDLY SBOUT EVERYTHING. And go on and on about how complicated what they have to do is and how much work they have and how they shouldn’t even be the one doing it and and and. So today it was work we in hr generated for her and it is NOT complicated and it is NOT a lot and it just needs done. I just took it and while she was gone said I’d rather do it than hear her for one more second. Of course she doesn’t have the process written up, of course she was doing the bare minimum and not documenting her work before passing onto end users. And OF COURSE I called attention to that, did all the work and wrote a half page doc of all the steps along with questions that might come up and suggestions to make things better - all in the group chat.

Toddson, I find with most of those recipes parsley substitutes just fine.

I’m having a rough self loathing day and really need to get in the shower.

the guy called grapes "Nature's candy."

Hands up everyone whose mind immediately filled in the rest of the scene from that one episode of Daria here.

(HITLER ate chocolate!)

Also, dates are natures candy. Grapes are delicious but hardly candy like. Though I’ve had some that are supposed to be super sweet and they are very weird.

Went to the dermatologist! She barely glanced at my skin it seemed, but pronounced me without any troublesome looking spots. So yay that, checked off the list!