Wow Mac is 25!!

I'm terrible with housekeeping but I finally came to realize that I am not someone who should have ever lived by myself. I could keep up ok when I wasn't working and wasn't in bad mental health. But working and trying to keep up housework even with good mental health just leads to anxiety and stress.

"Not everyone can be the type of housekeeper I am. It takes years of neglect, and a natural sense of entropy." -- Sam Starfall

Someone broke math and made Mac 25?

Oh, as usual, dear.

If he remembers me pleasantly, please tell him happy birthday from me.

Happy 25, mac!!!

I am having a pretty shitty day today. I was scheduled for a physical, but yesterday missed a call from my doctor's office (it showed up as unknown number so I didn't pick it up) and when I listened to the message it was the admin telling me my appointment had been canceled because my doctor "isn't accepting new patients" and since it had been 3 years since my last visit, I was considered a new patient (even though I've been with this practice for a decade).

I spent the majority of my childhood in and out of hospitals, ending with a major kidney surgery when I was 8. I have a MASSIVE amount of internal resistance to preventive healthcare (on principle I'm all for it but it is a huge effort to actually get it done for myself). I also have a healthy neurodivergent/elder-millennial level of phone fear. Making this doctor's appointment in the first place was a big fucking deal, and now I have to either confront my now-former doctor's office and beg them to take me back, or start over with a new PCP? Excuse me while I crawl under a rock and just hide for the next five years.

(Please don't offer advice. Sympathy is welcome but do not tell me what to do, I already feel like enough of a failure at adulting.)