Really starting to panic about the prospect of becoming a parent. There's so much to do, and figure out. Just, I worry all the time.
They're pretty resilient if you don't leave them in the car during a heatwave.
Once you get the hang of the basics it's more of a grind than a non-stop siege of panic.
You are smart, and you are caring and you are competent and you will master the basics in no time.
I will reiterate what I consider to be the Three Essentials of Parenting.
1. You have to keep them alive. More generally tend to their well being, keep them fed, and get them to the doctor when they need it.
2. You need to love them and let them know they are loved. You do this from the very beginning and it gets into their skin and they know they are worthy.
3. You have to set boundaries. This is the unintuitive one. The thing you have to learn as a parent, and every kid requires a different style. But you have to keep them on the rails. They need to be socialized. They crave structure. They need to know you are constant.
And that's it. Do that and in most cases they will grow to become themselves.
I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. But you are well capable of doing all three of those things.
Just let people help, because you're going to get very tired and frazzled at times. Sometimes it's really boring too. They need a lot of repetition.
Really starting to panic about the prospect of becoming a parent. There's so much to do, and figure out. Just, I worry all the time.
I'll also note that when EM was pregnant with Emmett, I started having nightmares - almost one a week - where he was already born and under the covers and smothering.
I'd wake up in a panic kicking off the sheets trying to get the baby out. But there was no baby yet! Just the advancing stress of being alert! On top of it! Can't Sleep The Baby Needs Me! Before Emmett had even arrived.
The weight of that responsibility was heavy on me at first. It takes a while to trust they will sleep through the night without you watching them breathe. And later that a stranger can take care of them at a daycare without you.
2. You need to love them and let them know they are loved. You do this from the very beginning and it gets into their skin and they know they are worthy.
Every bit of what David said, but I am partial to #2! If you didn't worry about getting it all wrong then we would be concerned. You'll be great. Remember that you have a network of loving friends when you get overwhelmed.
Things I don't have this morning: Fever.
Things I do have this morning: An appetite.
So far, so good.
Yay, Dana. I hope your day continues to improve.
We were having a perfect day yesterday until ltc completely melted down for TCG on the way to karate. No camp today and ltc is out with mom now.
That sounds encouraging, Dana.
We really lucked out with the meltdown stuff with the boys. Maybe it made up for them both having horrible colic when they were infants. My theory is they were just so busy they didn't have time for fussing. They always went to work with us, from one week of age. In the office there were a dozen people to distract and occupy them. They went to preschool at 2ish, but came to the office after hours. When they were little punks we were so busy we ate out way too often and I think they just got socialized so early because of always being around so many people. If they tried temper tantrums they likely figured out quickly that I didn't have time for that crap.
ltc is so stubborn. She wants to do everything the same exact way each time and she wants to do it all herself. So if you close the car door for her for example and she wanted to do it, she becomes furious and will not calm down until you open the door again and let her close it. It's exhausting.
Yay Dana!
Aw, ltc. That does sound exhausting.
I think all little ones are exhausting, although some are more so.
One thing - an advice columnist was asked about parenting. The question was that a mother, of a six-year-old and a younger child, both girls, if they had a little boo-boo, she'd put a gel pack on it. Her husband takes the position that she's overindulging them, that they'll need to be tougher and not give in to every little ouchie. The columnist suggested that the mother try to negotiate some kind of compromise - that the husband be more compassionate and the mother let the girls deal more on their own, but that the care at their early ages would set a pattern for the future. That letting the children know that they were cared for was important.
So ... that's my two-cents worth. As a non-parent, what do I know.
And I should say 80% of the time ltc is an absolute joy, telling stories, making pictures, and a very lovable child.