I tried to skip out of a boring meeting at a point where I could pretend I thought it was over, and my coworker helpfully chatted me that it was still going on. So I had to rejoin it.

This morning, my oldest son just got laid off from his first post-college job. He moved into his own apartment 21 days ago (year-long lease). The company laid off its entire sales department. He has a lot of student loans, too.

My daughter is struggling with stuff she probably doesn't want me to put on the internet and is unhappy at college (her 2nd in 2 years).

My younger son (tooth-boy, who was valedictorian and got his Uni's top scholarship) was diagnosed with a chronic illness in January. It's so severe, his doc told us he needed to withdraw from college (thereby giving up his scholarship, which we can appeal when he can go back, which we think/hope will be in the fall). He was feeling better for a little while as he started his meds, but the last three weeks haven't been as good and he's discouraged. We're hoping he can avoid major surgery.

My husband was laid off from his longtime job in the fall of 2017. He was fortunate to get another job quickly, but for less money, and these are the years where we've had and will have two in college at a time. Also, our insurance sucks now. We have a huge deductible we didn't have before, with the bonus expensive chronic illness.

I've had a dependable freelance gig, with a reliable client, for going on five years. He's a good person and I like and respect him tremendously, but I don't love the job, the way I loved TWoP, and I don't make what I made there, so it's less fulfilling, less profitable, and more time-intensive.

Our cars are 15 and 13 years old. Our house is in severe need of exterior painting, and needs work inside, too.

I just can't remember the last day I didn't cry multiple times a day.

I'm probably going to edit a lot of this out, because so much of it is their story, not mine. I ask people not to quote any of it back. I just had to get it out there for a little while.

I'm sorry, Cindy. That is Too Much, and it's unfair.

My internal jukebox has basically become parts of what could be an entire Broadway show about never having children. We'll call it Cautionary Tale.

The main song "Never Have Children" has a bit if an Avenue Q feel

Never have children
No, never have kids
Your hormones will tell you you want them,
But they're LYING!!!!!

Basically I have this much of several catchy tunes. I'm considering it a coping mechanism that is slightly more healthy than drinking.

And I promise I am not singing them out loud in fro tvof the child.

ugh, Mac. If you can't get along at home and won't work or graduate from high school, are you planning to be homeless? There is no place to plug in your x box then.

Cindy I am so sorry. Way too much.

Way too much, Cindy.

Oof Cindy. That all sounds super rough. I hope some of it smooths out soon.

I'm sorry, Cindy. That is just way too much in way too many directions.

Also, msbelle, I could have told you parenting sucks. Much of the time. I'm not exactly sure most days what the upside is supposed to be.

Way too much for you too, msbelle. Every day, I sit here reading your posts and wishing I could help you somehow, even if it's just to lessen the load. And I don't know what you can do, other than what you're doing.

My internal jukebox has basically become parts of what could be an entire Broadway show about never having children. We'll call it Cautionary Tale.

I wish you could hear the laugh that escaped my throat. It was a little scary, though.

Thanks everybody. It hasn't been a bad five years in some ways (with lots of good in there). I'm feeling what Cashmere once described for me as "ground down."

msbelle, when I read your posts, I always think about that term.