Zen, I hope this is the first step to feeling better. Much love to you.

Taking that step is so hard, Zen, and you did it! You are awesome. Continue taking care of yourself, and try to be kind and gentle with yourself because I, for one, am very fond of you and want you treated well. I'm really glad work is being supportive. Good luck with the various therapeutic paths before, I hope it is not too unpleasant a journey and you feel better before too long.

Thanks, y'all. You're the best of humans.

zen, the world is so hard right now. You are allowed to feel as you feel, and I'm so glad that your bosses are supporting you.

I've been really busy with family and other stuff for the last week or so, and when I got home from the gym last night I didn't deal with any of the shit in the house other than put the groceries away. And when the alarm went off at 5:30 am I just didn't want to get out of bed and go to work and come home to a filthy house.

So I emailed my boss I would be late, slept in until the dog made me get up, and then cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, changed my sheets, folded laundry, and took the dog for a run in the daylight. Got to the office at 10AM and my boss was totally chill.

Sometimes you just have to take the time to look after yourself. I was so unhappy lying in bed thinking about all the shit I didn't get done-- and I know it's not about my kitchen counters. It's about aging and loss and being an orphan at 54, and my BIL dying, and the country's a fucking mess, and I can't fix any of that.

But apparently if I vacuum and change my sheets (and exercise!) I will feel a little bit better.

In conclusion: argh.

It's sad that we're so surprised when our bosses prove to be sympathetic human beings and that our company has procedures to help us that they're actually willing to follow. I can't tell if my managers are just bad at dealing with humans instead of computers (a downside of promoting from within the department) or if there is an underlying ethos of "Don't take time off if you know what's good for you." It may be a local thing, the business school at the nearby private university teaches that workers need to be watched closely so they don't get away with something.

Seconding Consuela's argh, for many of the same reasons.

Zen, I am giving you all the love with the power of my mind.

Dammit, I don't have enough bubble wrap.

Zenkitty, sending you all the love in my heart. You deserve care. You deserve to attend to your health. Depression is a health issue. Period. It is a very complex health issue. But it is not a reflection on your strength or on any other virtues you expect of yourself.

Please do take care, Zen!

Zen, you are ill. Building on what WS said -- mental illness is an illness, and it needs to be taken care of. Acknowledging that there's a problem, and that you need help, can be the hardest steps to take.

I've found support groups to be helpful. The DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) and NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) would be worthwhile places to start.

And, good luck in your treatment!

I'm really proud of you, Zen. It's hard to ask for help, and sometimes it's even harder to admit you need it. I hope the depression starts to lift soon.