Gud, I'm glad that you are able to see that you are doing a lot and that your wife, to put it mildly, is the unreasonable party.

On pettier news: for a very long time I didn't pay attention to lyrics in songs. As a result, my brain and soul are 100% certain that songs such as Band of Gold are happy songs because of the upbeat music.

Also, I'm getting professional shots tonight! At 33 I realized that as a grown up I should probably have these. I usually photograph badly and do not want to reuse the same 2-3 pictures that were taken in the past decade in which I look OK but less professional, so hopefully that will solve this issue.

Ooh, good luck with that, Shir! I have a decent picture taken by a professional, and it does help.

I just had to wait outside the tiny kitchen for what felt like forever, but the people taking it up were so charming, I didn't mind. A long-time senior employee who looks like a blond bear and a high-school intern who was making some very light and sweet coffee and then cleaning up after himself, just making chit-chat. It was cute! And then I could finally get in to wash my mug from yesterday, put my soda in the fridge, and get my two temperatures of water.

Gud, it sounds like you've made progress. You've at least learned that the problem isn't that you're lazy (because you are anything but lazy).

Housework was one source of conflict during the last year with Hubs. He was retired, and I was working full time. As the primary income, I was paying most of the bills (including a housekeeper once a week). He still thought that I should be doing half of the household chores and errands, while I thought that my workday and financial contributions counted toward my half.

We've had a housekeeper once a week forever. I know my limitations! We've always split the chores but in a pretty informal way. He does most of the shopping because I hate it, but he shops from lists I email him, or I order delivery. I do most of the cooking, but he usually makes his own breakfast and lunch, and I make mine. He does most of the dishwashing, or rinses them for me to load in the dishwasher. We have always done our own laundry, and the kids did their own. People don't need to take care of other people's dirty clothes, at least in my house. I used to do my share of the maintenance type stuff, electric, plumbing, and such, but he pretty much does all that now. Heavy stuff I just don't do anymore because I have 3 strong men available, so why should I. Lighter stuff like taking out trash and recycles I do probably half the time. I don't mow the lawn, but I trim and weed things.

When the kids were little I probably did the majority of the diaper stuff, and since I nursed the feeding. But after baby stage he did a lot more, all the sports and driving around and kids parties and such. He is frankly just better at kids than me. I do all the financial stuff, and have my sister as bookkeeper for both business and personal bill paying, but I do the tax returns.

If either one of us thought we were doing too much I think we would just talk about it and shift some responsibility, but mostly I think we both think the other one carries the heavier load because they do the stuff we don't want to. If that makes sense.

Boring nutrition shake:

ION, sounds like today could be an interesting news day. Really looking forward to looking back on these days like I look back on previous horrors in the White House.

We used to have someone come once a month, and it was really not enough. If I get a decent raise this year it would be great to have someone come in every other week.

The idea of someone else cleaning for me makes me very anxious. Like it's not my house if someone else is keeping it clean, I'm just their guest? I dunno.

Unrelatedly - I had a thought when I was leaving work yesterday that our political system (the US's, not my work's, although also kind of my work's now that I think about it) is like the opposite of consensus-building. Is there a word for that? There must be, right?

I live by myself, and I'm not quite at the financial point where I can hire housecleaners. So if I want it done, I do it. On the other hand, I get to choose what level of filth I want to live in. Floors get swept, dishes get washed, food gets cooked, bathroom surfaces get cleaned on a mostly regular basis. It does help that I live in an apartment, so if something needs to be repaired (plumbing, appliances, etc.) I can generally just call the landlord. I only have gardening tasks because I asked the landlord to let me play in the plot next to my building. Which reminds me, this weekend I need to do a bunch of pre-spring prep.

Now that I'm living on my own, I prioritize. Cat care and feeding comes first because they can't do it for themselves. Then laundry because I know nobody will do it for me, and I have to have clean clothes. Then groceries and cooking because I have to have food on the table, but I can go out or order delivery.

The apartment complex includes a subscription to Amazon Prime. I'm learning how convenient it is to have the big boxes of kitty litter delivered instead of carrying them up and down stairs. When I was sick over the weekend, I also had cat food and groceries delivered.

Once I'm out from under the expenses of paying for two households, I plan to hire a housekeeper again.

My big task for the weekend is vacuuming. I moved in almost 2 months ago, and I haven't vacuumed yet.

I'm also on my own and have a cleaning service come in every other week. They dust everything, vacuum and mop the floors, and clean the bathroom and kitchen. They don't do cat litter or beds or laundry. I do the rest, but really, since I'm on my own, I eat out a lot or just snack.

After my mom died, when I had her 3 elderly cats as well as my 2, I had my petsitter come in on weekdays to do a lunch feeding and give fluids to 2 of the cats. It felt extravagant, but it was so much easier than trying to come home at lunch myself. But I also had mom's estate to draw on. I don't know what I would've done otherwise.