Largely a hermit by nature, covid restrictions have been less hard for me than for others. I don't have to show up at work every day. DH is hyperactive so sending him on grocery runs or other necessary errands is what we do--masked, gloved, and armed with sanitizer or wipes. I offered a supersoaker with disinfectant to keep people at safe distance, but he declined. At least so far. He masks up when a neighbor needs help with his computer, or a repair on the porch steps, or the door hinge. I wasn't a gadfly before, so that hasn't been a big change. I do miss visiting, both other people at their home, and here at ours. We do the middle of the street conversation with neighbors, all safely distanced. Some neighbors go masked on their walks around the block. We have a mandatory mask in public places notice from the governor, and there are relatively few maskless rebels, at least locally. We don't mask in the car, but the few appointments I had to keep I masked, as does DH.

It's still onerous to *have* to comply. I miss hugging people I haven't seen for a while. I miss sharing jokes in a group and clutching at each other laughing. I miss congregating on someone's porch for drinks or wine and conversation. It's not like not getting to see your kids--well it is, but mine is a continent away anyway, so not much has changed there. I'm lucky to be here where people apparently haven't lost their minds. But it's still isolating and lonely, and I want it over.

So much love and sympathy for those having lost people, or who might be losing people, and for those trying to plan safe alternative holidays without their beloveds. Internet hugs sounds very inadequate, but it's heartfelt, and it's what I got.

Monday, Monday.

When I go to the store for a supply run for work and cannot find disinfectant or toilet paper, I feel like such a failure.

Darlings, please give yourselves grace over difficulty with formerly ordinary things. Yes, you truly can't even. The pandemic in and of itself - not taking into account actually getting sick or losing a loved one - is a trauma. So we are all experiencing trauma. And then we are grieving. We are struggling with other tough stuff. We have other health challenges. We have other family problems. We have crushing pressure from wanting to save the world.

We ARE traumatized. It is ok to not be ok. If there are days when all you can do is breathe, and getting out of bed or being productive in other way just is not going to happen, that is ok.

JZ, that's such a cute story about your rabbit and your cat.

I had a rabbit too, Harvey. He lived in a hutch outside during the nice months, which we brought into the closed in porch, in the winter. He had a habit of getting out of his hutch though, which was a problem during the summer.

One day he got out and was hopping around the yard. Our cat stayed about a dozen feet behind him, but she wasn't stalking him. She seemed to be standing guard, because this was not regular order. When we arrived home, Harvey was in the little garden next to the driveway, and our cat was giving us the dirtiest looks over her shoulder, as if to say, "You need to do something about this, now!"

So we are all experiencing trauma.

Global trauma, which means that every single person we interact with is also experiencing trauma. Humanity is a giant mess of trauma right now, barely held together with chocolate, Netflix, and Zoom calls.

I figure those of us from dysfunctional families finally get our chance to shine.

I figure those of us from dysfunctional families finally get our chance to shine.

Ahahahaha!!! This just made me do my loud donkey laugh. (I *knew* I was keeping this C-PTSD around for a reason!)

Meanwhile I’m about ready to strangle this dog. He has not shut up with the whining and barking all day, and I’ve felt sick all day so it was even less appreciated than usual. Plus it rained all day so I couldn’t take him to the dog park. But Jesus. I just fed him some doggy CBD stuff, fingers crossed it works.

~ma and condolences, a round for everybody, barkeep! Keep 'em coming! always need more. :-(

omg, this year is wearing me down. I now have a persistent, not quite a migraine headache, I keep hoping antihistamines and mucus thinners will help. so far, not so much.

funny, but not funny thing is how the loss and health has brought us back here, the one truly safe place on the intertubes.

Also, I feel like I've been haunted by DX. for the last month I've see random posts from him. probably just my screwed up FB algorithm, but it was so weird to hear that he'd died in June. Seriously weird.

I went in to my doctor for a punch biopsy today, and he looked aghast when I read off the litany of crappy things that have happened (or I've become aware of happening) this past week. I'm going to take the fact that I'm *not* feeling completely overwhelmed and depressed as a mark in the win column.

Also, no one warned me that when they freeze skin tags, they swell up tight like very tiny balloons afterwards. These things cannot fall off soon enough for my liking.