My laptop has an enter/return key, but my work computer has two separate keys and the enter key does different things when posting to some websites.

Both "carriage return" and "line feed", the two character codes used semi-interchangeably for "go to the next line" in modern computers, have their roots in type writers. A carriage return sends the big box of letter sticks (the carriage) back to the beginning, while line feed advances the paper up one line, so I'm order to start typing on the next line you technically need to press both. When computers essentially controlled typewriters, that made sense, so both characters got space in the 128 character ASCII standard.

Once the world decided that no longer made sense, different operating systems settled on different rules. In Unix-based systems, it was decided that only a LF character would be used to demark a new line. In Mac-based systems (old ones), it was decided it would be a CR. In DOS (and therefore Windows) it was a CR AND a LF, also known as CRLF - more accurate to old usages but also less efficient.

These days, Mac's are based on Unix so they only use LF (despite the key being called "Return" still), while Windows still uses CRLF. Nobody uses only CR afaik. This can cause programmers sharing code across different environments a lot of trouble - in fact, I ran into that just yesterday when I forgot to change a setting - I had to throw everything away and start over, basically, re-downloading the code.

I have no idea why Matt's computer has both an Enter and Return. My guess is the Enter is sending CRLF generally but the return only CR? Which would definitely be weird in any modern situation.

Is the return versus enter the difference between a paragraph make and a paragraph sign in Word? I spend a lot of time cleaning up HTML from word and pasting into our Learning Management System, and there is something that tranlates into and something else that translates into

My apple has a return key, the iPad has return with enter, and the PC has enter,

Nobody uses only CR afaik

I deal with some old embedded controllers that use only CR. It is part of the game when sending serial or UDP commands to them to figure out, usually by trial and error, which combination of CR, LF, or CRLF is needed to get things to accept the command, and then even more fun when they are looking for it all in hex.

I don't think she likes this either. Mom fail.

As a non-mom, I will suggest: suck it up, kid! The world can't always serve your immediate desires and it's good to learn that now when the stakes are so low.

Spending time with my brother's family it's become evident that my younger nephew has some form of sensory ... issue. He won't wear any pants other than loose polyester track pants, won't eat vegetables other than broccoli, and disdains avocado for the texture (although he likes guacamole). So far as I can tell he would happily go the rest of his life on sushi and grilled salmon (although his colon might not handle that well).

He's ten, and it's an adventurous family: it's not that he's not getting exposed to all sorts of foods. If I do any cooking here I must accept the possibility he won't like much that I make, since I'm mostly into big pots of veggie-bean stews and the like.

Is the return versus enter the difference between a paragraph make and a paragraph sign in Word?

No, "new paragraph" is a whole other thing. It doesn't exist at the basic character level, only in much more complex formattable documents.

I can remember noticing a difference between hitting return and hitting enter when filling spreadsheets, but I can't remember any context for that.

I feel like the clue as linked is ok, though - clearly the Enter key is also sometimes called Return even if they were originally both physically and functionally distinct.

Wait, was that something I needed to know to use vi? That was necessary knowledge at one point.

A whole lot of more or less esoteric knowledge has passed through my brain leaving very little residue.

clearly the Enter key is also sometimes called Return even if they were originally both physically and functionally distinct.

Agreed. Return vs enter is semantic on all computers that only have one, and I'm honestly surprised there are still keyboards that treat them differently at all.

Wait, was that something I needed to know to use vi?

vi is a programmers editor so it's quite good at accepting and working with all variants, but if you were working with go you were edging on the kind of programming / text-file heavy world where they can cause troubles.