Just got off a group call with my brothers, my dad's girlfriend and the palliative care doctor. I think everyone is on the same page now; it's just an unbelievably shitty page.
Now I get to try to pull my shit together enough to do a Zoom training session for the co-worker who's supposed to be cross-trained on all my tasks. I can do all of hers--she has a lot, but I can more or less stumble through most of them; I really just have one, but she is extremely nervous and unconfident about it.
I would really like to Bartleby out of this, both because I'm a knotted mess and because she lacks 95% of the server access needed to do it anyway so all that's happened over the last couple of weeks is she does a couple of pieces, I pull together all the rest of it, she knits it more or less together and hands it back to me, I fix all the problems, and then I distribute. She's not learning anything (because she has no access to anything) and I'm doing *more* work than I'd do if I were just doing it to begin with. And now I get to train her in 3 minutes.
I want to just nope out of all of it and spend the rest of the week here being mad at Amy's bakery owner and vibing for Dana's husband's 9000th interview.
eta: I had to cancel the meeting. I'm not even sure what I looked like, but as soon as I logged on my manager and coworker both gasped and both started crying and told me to take all the time I needed and they'll figure it out. So.
I'm sorry you're stranded and unable to be with the people who need you. You always have been, however, so you are. Your heart is with your father and he knows it. He knows your daughter is with him too. Years of love don't dissipate because you're not in the room recharging them. It's an aggregate, not individual opportunities missed or unfulfilled.
Every time I read this, I cry with gratitude all over again.
FUCK. How do we tell Matilda?