Count me among those who cannot fathom that Ryan and Owen aren't still 6 years old.

I'm trying to persuade my 70 year old sister to stop going in to work. The same sister who told me last week that she'd "decided" she was going to die from coronavirus. She can work from home, she's annoyed at her coworkers for not taking reasonable precautions, why tf won't she just stay home.

Me, I'm not going anywhere or interacting F2F with anyone. It's a little disturbing how much this doesn't bother me.

I'm trying to persuade my 70 year old sister to stop going in to work. The same sister who told me last week that she'd "decided" she was going to die from coronavirus.

Pretty sure that tomorrow's Skype therapy session is going to be raging/weeping about my stupid, stupid 78-year-old father with heart disease and diabetes who's just fine continuing to work at Kroger WHEN HE DOESN'T NEED TO. I'm so angry at him that I don't want to talk to him.

Me, I'm not going anywhere or interacting F2F with anyone. It's a little disturbing how much this doesn't bother me.

Yeah, 6 years of freelancing from home have prepared me well. Literally nothing has changed about my day-to-day routine.

We're doing pretty well here until 3:30 in the afternoon when ltc becomes a crank monster and my anxiety starts to really skyrocket. TCG is getting home by 5. So, that hour and a half is really hard. Then my anxiety is spiking again before bedtime. Not sure why except my usual brain worrying about all the things when I should be sleeping.

Nothing has really changed for Matthew and his mom. It's changed that I am not going to work but I've had so many times in my life where I self isolated for various reasons that the only real difference is having 2 people in the house and the whole world also self isolating.

People I went to high school with were happily posting about getting their nails done this week.

UGH.

My town (and my mother's nearby town) have shut down all "personal care" services like hair and nail salons.

I'm pretty sure her town had already made the call to shut it down when D offered to open the shop for her tomorrow. (She's not the owner but she's worked there forever.)

I was two years behind D in high school. She was my hairdresser for a long time, too. We're not hang out friends, but have a friendly relationship. I think if I saw her right now, I'd shake her, if not for the whole social distancing thing.

Dana, thanks for the update upthread, and I hope you feel better.

flea, you did good! Go you.

Hil, I hope your friend is well.

It's so hard to understand that things are indeed like some part of a strange what-if movie, that it's what our daily routine is really supposed to be like. It's an invisible "enemy", a virus. You can't see it or feel that it's there in any of our senses, so it's difficult (at least for me) to grasp that it's really there. And that actions like washing alread-clean-looking hands, or wiping already-clean-looking surfaces can actually do anything. They look the same, the change is copmletely undetected, and it's difficult to trust that.

And it's hard for people to change the simple routine, the same routine maintained for years, sometimes centuries. Here I see it with Rabbies announcing that people shouldn't go davening in synagogues. People who, for their entire lives, 3 times a day, every day, no exceptions, went to shul. And suddennly they have to realize that not only they souldn't do it, but they mustn't. They have to stay home. It's not unlike the salon and hair appointments. It's so hard to not-do what you do, what defines you.

And it's hard to not "cut corners". I see this with my quarantine - I keep wishing to just go outside the room for a second, and everybody in the house is still aleep, so why not slip for a second without the mask and after just a minute go back inside. Nobody's going to know. And that is just the one example (happening a dozen times a day).

And that's even without the actual difficulty of the quarantine for me, which is the well-being of my family. I'm not even talking about the total and utter mess that the house is in, and how thouroughly I'm going to have to clean, and the mountains of laundry, even though they're all right there.

I'm talking about my still-young two kids needing me and knowing that they can't get my presence. Phone and video conversations and shouting through the closed door just don't know it. I can't really help them with their own world going totally out of so much of what built it (school, friends, distant family), when I'm not *there*. My being away is one of the most dramatic aspects of that same problem, it intensifies it rather than offering any help.

And it's so hard. It's difficult for them, and it's tearing me apart, not being able to at least be there for them to carry some of the burden. Lots of people wonder if I'm using my quarantine time to catch up on sleep or binge-watch somethng. Even if I had the time (I'm still learning how to teach online, and even trying, as much as my humble understanding goes, to help the other lecturers in our program who have problems with the software and building their classes, so no time), I can't find the peace-of-mind to enjoy what is quite problematic for them.

And yet I keep reminding myself that this is what I have to do now. This is my contribution to fighting off this invisible tiny-yet-potent foe. I contribute my part, my tiny piece of this huge puzzle, by keeping the rules and not cutting corners. And once the quarantine if over (in 12.5 hours!) I'm going to keep - with the rest of my family - the rules. It may seem like an empty gesture, like turning our routine upside down for no reason, if (hopefully, oh so hopefully) our lives just continue and the very actions we take are the worst results of this nast virus for us.

But it's not empty. It has meaning. It's what's going to help, in the long run and the big picture, as many people stay as well as possible. It has an invisible, distant, just stay-as-it-has-been fragile and huge meaning. And I keep reminding myself of that as I slip for the shortest amount of time possible from the quarantine room, with my mask, or not hug my family for a week and a half. It's meaningful. It has a purpose. I do it because I love them and because I want to contribute the little I possibly can to my community, to their wellbeing.

Sorry, I'm babbling. I'll go get ready to teach. Who knew I'll become a Youtuber. Life is interesting and strange. And when it'll all pass and be behind us and we look back at it, the movies of me teaching sitting on the floor in front of a tiny whiteboard Pi++Girl loves to draw on, will be what lasts forever.

Take care, y'all.

( continues...) [Edit: moved back to the former post.]

[Edit: it's comforting to know that some things never change, and I still can't explain myself consicely and still have to throw large paragraphs on my keyboard just in order to try and wave hello to all of you. Oops.]

Oh, Nilly. Bless you.

I went for a walk after my first full day of WFH and texted my niece when I was outside her apartment, so at least I got to see someone today. My dog walker refuses to let me continue to pay her while she is not walking the dog. And my hands feel very dry.

Please stay safe, Buffistae!

My company's buildings are temporarily closing. I don't know what that means for my job. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

I just woke up with my heart racing after nightmares about trying to escape a condemned/abandoned building that had Ebola or something?? It was not good and now it's not even 1am and I'm exhausted but wide awake.

...brb googling if pot stores are considered essential and open here in Washington...I hear there was a big run on them already and it's not usually my jam but...