H and StY cleared out my mom's house. H set aside things he thought I might want or be interested in--the rest went to the dump without my ever seeing it. As it was, every item was a decision--he knows that about me, and I'm forever grateful to both of them for reducing those decisions down to something manageable.

I have a saga. Bear with me. About twenty years ago one side of my tongue swelled. I could feel it tickling in the back of my throat, and it filled my mouth on that side. I couldn't speak understandably, so I asked off of phone duty for the day, though I worked a regular shift with tasks I didn't need to talk for. The condition wasn't linked to an allergen that I could identify, and after about four hours, it subsided on its own.

I was puzzled, but forgot about it till it happened again. And again a few weeks later--when I made the connection. In every case I had been toweringly angry about a situation, and had no safe place to express that anger.

Once I made the connection, it never happened again.

Until late last night. While reading before bed I rubbed my tongue along my molars, and when I brushed my teeth and put in my night guard I noticed it was sore on that side. I woke two hours later drooling and unable to swallow. I got up and made some hot salt water to swish in my mouth. That felt better but didn't reduce the swelling. I pulled several chunks of frozen fruit from the freezer, hoping direct application would reduce swelling. I sipped hot water.

I'd identified this condition as my old friend, brought on by my futile anger at yesterday's events, but this time both sides of my tongue were involved, and it had swollen to the point it was difficult to swallow, and I could feel tingling at the edge of my throat. What really frightened me though was that underneath my jaw, my throat had swollen--the skin was taut--I had the biggest and most solid double chin, ever.

To conclude, 911, barely able to enunciate, paramedics, bless 'em, they didn't mock, and were happy, after an hour or so, to note I was speaking more clearly. They did BP, checked blood sugar, pulse ox, palpated the throat, almost didn't wince when I couldn't "stick out my tongue" and left with my promise to contact my doctor.

I slept a couple hours, everything's much less swollen, I can almost swallow normally and under my jaw, while still somewhat swollen, isn't taut.

In conclusion, anger is a powerful force. I'd like to use mine in a far more constructive way, because this, while powerful, was no fun.

I'm forever grateful to both of them for reducing those decisions down to something manageable.

Exactly.

Oh Beverly, that sounds extremely unpleasant. My neighbor stopped by and was understanding of my blood pressure cuff next to me as I watched news. I felt I had to keep track because, yes, anger is a powerful force.

Oh, man, Beverly, that sounds awful!

It underscores my need to *do* something concrete and not just stew in futility. Much better now. Just had tea and applesauce and a rice cake. My tummy's quite happy.

Beverly, I hope you are feeling better.

~ma to all of you.

Here, I enrolled back to get my librarianship diploma (and hopefully will know within a week if they have enough students to start the academic year), and SO and I broke up (he moved to another city and other reasons, but it was the logical thing to do because life intervened and we were in different stages of life in order to meet it together). It was about two weeks ago and that's what it took to re-built most of my emotional backbone, though I'm still working on it. I loved him.

One is how the culture repeatedly minimizes the effect on women. How they are expected to get over it and even this pressure to say, "I wasn't raped but..." and have to justify their feelings about these experiences.

And with it, there's the whole narrative of "if it was that bad you will feel terrible all of your life and will never know trust or joy again, because it was that bad". To which I say, bullshit.

But hi, you know what's fine and nice and the thing I came here to post in the first place? This thing: [link] (There's a cake awareness conference thing. These are two of my friends, Lili and Elisheva, and they are marvelous).

Timelies all!

Gary and I are going to see James Keelaghan in concert tonight. Should be nice.

Enjoy the concert, Sheryl.

I'm sorry, Shir. The end of a relationship is always hard even when you know it is for the best.

I'm making box-mix blueberry muffins (the Krusteaz brand, which is probably the best), and will have pizza to put in the oven when it is free. Dinner, solved!

oh all the nice things to read. I would be so happy to come to everyone's home and do for you all what I cannot do for myself - organize, de-clutter, and re-arrange.

Not great day at the shelter. No adoptions and word that a dog I had fostered had to be put down (returned by two different people for biting). Adopters just not listening to what we know about the dog and the dog being a not very nice dog.

Now I am home in a very clean (for me) house with my Bailey who I am loving on and Maya the dog we sit for. Maya's people had to leave the country for the very ill father/father-in-law who is probably being taken off life support tomorrow.

The reason the house is so clean is being I had a house visit from a rescue organization. I should find out in a day or two if I am approved to be a foster home for the Boston Terrier Rescue of North Texas! YAY!

I love the little Bostons -- they're so with-it.