My Dad had all his final wishes laid out: no embalming, no funeral service. His body went directly from the hospice to the crematorium and my stepmom picked them up. She ordered a biodegradable paper package for scattering ashes at sea because she felt that was more dignified than messy windblown ashes everywhere. She asked me to pick a bouquet from my garden to decorate it. Then she booked a room at their favorite Italian restaurant for a buffet for all their friends and invited his relatives to stay at the house for the weekend and chartered a boat. It all felt like it was appropriate for him and that he would have enjoyed himself.
We looked at old pictures and told stories about our memories. It was way better than hiring a stranger to pray.
This Thanksgiving will be a sad time for me. Last year I was so happy he survived his intestinal adventures in Montana and got home just in time for Thanksgiving. Now that I know that was his last turkey day it's good to know that i remembered to be grateful for my Dad while he was here.
My mom: "well those would be nice too but an urn would be special"
I have been laughing at this since I read it.
Thanks, peeps. It's weird. My aunt was 90. The last several years, she wasn't really there at all (Alzheimer's), so I thought I'd made my peace with it, but wow, it hit hard.
For those playing along at home, I am now down to one biological aunt. (My uncle's widow's still around, though.)
And I'm down to one marriage-uncle, but I only ever had two marriage uncles. Both of my brothers married into large extended families so they've got a lot more on their plates.
I just got a Facebook notice that it is my (deceased) uncles birthday. Should we have done something to switch the account?
I'm sorry, Plei. I'm also down to one bio aunt and one uncle's widow. At least, I think the latter is still around. Her previous husband to my uncle was an abusive stalker, so she kind of deliberately fell off the map.
Also down to just one uncle and his wife. Haven't heard from the one uncle's widow since she said she would have a memorial for him "later" and never did. Or didn't tell us about it if she did. We were never a close knit extended family, though.
I'm on hold for a conference call that was supposed to start at 7 and that I came in early for and no one else appears to be on. I hope I dialed the right number...
ETA hung up and called in again and the conversation was going on without me so I must have misdialed. Argh.
