No, you're not. People aren't entitled to know everything that's going on with you.

That. Also, I say it's okay to tell a lie to people who ask nosy questions. They don't have a right to an answer. I mean, some people are genuinely concerned but most people are just curious, and you don't owe the story of your life to someone's idle curiosity.

That is why I want to stay with her for the five visits, even though she thinks I am pretty healthy and just got in over my head, rather than being pathological.

I feel like people should have therapy if they want it (and can afford it and everything else), not just if they are pathological! For the record. As a person who has meant to find a therapist for literally years.

So yeah, if your mother isn't involved, there's not really a need for her to know. Better all around.

I think this is true. I already death spiral into disastrous anxiety. I do not need a 78 year old person also death spiraling. I will probably tell her once it is done, because I am a terrible liar v

Just tell them you're going hardcore Marie Kondo?

Yup. It's pretty much true!

Sophia - not telling her is not lying. She asks you what you've been doing - tell her deep cleaning your apartment. If you still think you want to move to a studio and she asks why, tell her that maintaining a place with 4 spaces/rooms where "stuff" can accumulate is too much for you.

Thanks all. I have a hard time obfuscating, which is weird, because I didn't randomly walk up to people and tell them my home is a disaster!

My therapist actually thanked me for being so forthcoming/honest because it made her job easier. I was like, I already let these Serve Pro people see it, what have I got to lose now as I have already given up all pretense to dignity after I told my boss and Maria and you guys!

One other reason I liked the therapist is that I told her I was afraid I was boring for her because I thought about things outside of therapy and she wouldn't have to dig too deep, because I was pretty forthcoming and she said that it might be true for long term therapy, but I was not boring her short term and we just need to do short term right now. This therapist is so much better than the one I had a bad experience with.

lying is really easy for me and I can do it well, so my therapist is really amazed that 1) I am truthful about the ugly stuff and 2) my friends online are not "just put your best self online" people, but a good community for showing underbellies.

Sophia, I completely agree that you don't have to tell anyone anything, but if you're at all like me and have trouble keeping anything from your mother, a half truth works too. Things got a little messy at home so I buckled down and took care of it, kind of thing. And I would have been so screwed if my landlords did regular inspections back in the day when I was living alone.

if you're at all like me and have trouble keeping anything from your mother, a half truth works too. Things got a little messy at home so I buckled down and took care of it, kind of thing.

Agreed. If I ever mention friends, my mom always wants to know how I know/met them, so I had to do some creative embroidering of how Tim and I met. Half-truths are all she ever needs to know on that. I think your apartment is the same, if you want it to be.

Aargh. I think I didn't clean enough, because now I can't sleep in anticipation of the cleaners at 8:30, I am so excited. But also nervous. Do they expect me to watch them? I am thinking of going next door to Dunkin Donuts and having them text me if anything comes up. I hope the dumpster is big enough. I hope I am not too shaky - the poor estimator man had to deal with me trembling the whole time. I hope my kitty is OK shut in the bathroom for most of the day. I hope there is not a giant dead raccoon in this bedroom.