Beverly - I still have the ponytail and it's still white on top and chestnut on the back of my neck. It's not as thick and lush as in the days of yore, so I toy with the idea of getting a short do that will stay out of my face and be easier to care for.

The white means that when I put in a blue dye to be Zombie Marge Simpson I got a bright and shiny Supergirl color that dazzled for days of fun. Then it wouldn't wash out completely, until It finally occurred to me to use something stronger from the beauty supply place.

David,if you cut my hair, would you tap my noggin and mumble about braaaaaiiiins?

I've always hated getting my hair cut, although I would agree to sit for ZombieZenMom or David. The last time I went to DH's barber, which I prefer to the hair salon. That was over 3 years ago. Hence hair that gets caught in my armpit. Grey at the temples and one good streak at the crown, but not enough! I may never cut it again since it is probably at max length.

I'm in Otter Lake! It was 25 when I got up yesterday morning. Only 50 in the house when I got here, but 7 space heaters are doing the job well enough. I waved and sent sweet thoughts to Zen and Maria as I zoomed past them, but rushed to get up here. I actually stayed just a few miles from Zen, but got there at 3AM and thought it best not to call. eta: Drove 17N through western VA to avoid hitting DC in the morning rush. It was a lovely route.

SILs and nephews arrived this morning at 5! They are all upstairs asleep now and I have a big pot of vegetarian chili on the stove to eat with cornbread next to a bonfire in the backyard later.

Buffistas, I am in trouble. I am holding it together at work, but just barely. I am about to be evicted because I am pretty much a hoarder. My depression has gotten so bad over the last four years that I seriously have not been able to take the garbage out. I was hopeful I could really turn it around this weekend, but it is way bigger than it was in my head. I have basically been only returning to my house to sleep, and I missed an inspection notice, so I couldn't clean frantically and they saw me in all my horror. I think that means I have to be even cleaner when they come back.

I didn't really realize the horror, but it is terrible, and I am getting therapy. But I am so scared my kitty and I will be homeless soon. I am somewhat hopeful that because I have a plan for professionals to come in and am working on it and in therapy I can stay, because it would cost my landlord more to get the apartment ready for a new tenant. I think if I had a gun right now I would shoot myself except I would be so embarrassed to be found in this filth and for my mom or Maria to have to deal with it.

The good news is I tackled the back room which I closed up about 5 years ago, and all the stuff is bagged and ready to be disposed of. I have a dumpster coming on the 28th. I have an estimate for help coming either tomorrow or Friday.

That was very satisfactory because that room has been stressing me out for years, but also terrible because my (dead) cat basically used it as a litter box.

The temptation is to pack my cat and a couple of things and just never turn back and sleep in my office, but that is ridiculous and also not recommended by therapy. Cleaning is very satisfying, just I am not sure I can do it fast enough.

You are the first people I am telling. People at work know I am having a housing emergency but not why, and Maria and my mom know nothing. I am not sure what I am looking for, but I need to "come out" about this, and I know you all have been so kind to others with problems.

It is also so hard to explain that just can't. If I lived with other people, I think something would happen sooner, but because I only have inspections it is just so easy to not notice, with all my mental health spoons going to keeping a job and my bloood sugar intact. I think I would do best moving somewhere with a roommate, but I am not sure how todo that at 46.

Oh, Sophia, that's so hard! I'm sorry things have gotten so bad for you lately. It sounds like you have a good plan and that your therapist can help you work through the mental/emotional side of things. Are there support groups that could help, either now or in the longer term?

My best advice for people with lots of stuff is to think about crap you don't want before agonizing over what you would like to keep.

I had a friend who spent two weeks rereading old letters she couldn't bear to part with... and then I suggested, why not get rid of all the empty cookie tins and gift baskets in the spare room? She had no affection for those things and starting there was helpful in finally moving house.

You are on the right track arranging for professional assistance. Let them do their job and rejoice over the results.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, Sophia. It sounds like you're heading in the right direction, though. I like Katerina's suggestion. It can be so satisfying and freeing to toss out stuff.

My best advice for people with lots of stuff is to think about crap you don't want before agonizing over what you would like to keep.

This is the Marie Kondo method - start with the stuff that has the least emotional significance and build up to the really hard stuff.

Sophia, it sounds like you are on the right track and I hope your landlord can see how hard you are trying to turn things around!

Askye, your stylists' excuses are ridic. Cutting your hair the way you wear it is LITERALLY THE JOB! (And also, the asymmetrical undercut pixie cut is incredibly popular right now. Any working stylist should know how to do one.)

Sophia, getting therapy and arranging to get help with cleaning is exactly the right thing to do now, and I commend you for being willing to deal with the problem, which not everyone is able to do. I hope your landlord will be understanding and let you stay with the promise to clean the apartment.

Sophia, that must have been really difficult to post here. I am so glad you were able to come out to us, and I am glad you're in therapy.

It sounds like you're tackling things head on. I hope your landlord recognizes the work you are doing, and I wish you the strength you need to see this through.

I'm so sorry you're going through that, Sophia. Wish I was closer and could help you out. Like everyone said, it sounds like you're doing the right things and I hope, if it's necessary, your therapist can talk to your landlord. Also, maybe your therapist can connect you to resources? I don't think this is a job you should do all on your own.