Yes, you were. Sorry. I hope you can avoid going back to that!

It was actually really kinda bad. I don't want to go back to that!

I've threatened to write my memoirs and go on Oprah. Who wants to buy my scandal-and-angst-filled autobiography, "Lost on the Road Less Traveled By"?

I hear you, Zen. I'm really trying not to go back to software, but my grand plans to be lofty and noble took a hit when husband got laid off. Fortunately, the contract job is documenting something that's already developed, so I don't have to participate in the whole cycle.

But yes, you were stressed and miserable.

Oh, damn it, I forgot that Tim's co-worker (who I've never met) is coming over after work because he's buying Tim's old, extremely decrepit motorcycle because he rebuilds them for fun. Tim just texted me to remind me about 5 minutes ago. Anyway, since I forgot Dude is coming over, I just got done exercising and I am a sweaty, unholy, probably stinky mess. There isn't enough time to shower, so I'm trying to figure out how best to mitigate my nastiness* so I can meet Dude and then slink away in sweaty shame.

(I feel like this happened in Little Women, after Meg got married. But she was trying to make jelly instead of exercising, and her husband just randomly brought a dude home after work. There was no motorcycle.) (A motorcycle really would have livened up Little Women.)

*(Tentative plan: [1] STOP SWEATING; [2] wash face; [3] put makeup on; [4] put on unstinky clothes, including a bra; [5] put baseball hat on nasty sweaty unwashed hair; [6] try not to die of shame.)

And step 1 is really the key to the whole plan, y'all. So my autonomic nervous system can cut it out ANY TIME NOW.

Or the time in Anne of Green Gables when the famous author arrived.

And step 1 is really the key to the whole plan, y'all. So my autonomic nervous system can cut it out ANY TIME NOW.

The best guarantee for making sure I continue to sweat is needing really badly to stop sweating.

Steph, I feel certain you're not as unholy gross as you think you are. Dude works on old bikes; he's been sweaty and grimy before.

I just discovered there's a place on campus that delivers freshly made cookies, and my house is in their delivery range. I - an unemployed diabetic - just ordered six cookies to be delivered to my house. This is simply inexcusable of me, and yet, I regret nothing.

I am fairly stanky. I was due for a shower anyway, and then I exercised. Plus my legs are hairy, so I had to pull on yoga pants, which is awful when you're hot and sweaty -- but not as bad as putting on a bra when you're hot and sweaty.

But I am now presentable. For some definitions of the word.

Sometimes you just gotta cookie. That's the monster in me.

I agree with Zen, Tep, you are probably not as nasty-seeming as you think.

Y'all! TIm's co-worker BROUGHT HIS DOG. I got to pet a dog for like 20 minutes straight. SO HAPPY.

Nice!