Thanks everyone.

Gud if your wife really wanted to go to that state park she would have mentioned it more than once. She would have said something as you got close, or made sure y'all had enough time to see it. And if you accidentally drove past it she could have used her words and said "hey that's the turn for the state park" like a reasonable grown up does.

Except your wife is not reasonable. She is manipulative and petty and abusive. So instead of speaking up and making sure she sees the state park she really wants to see (or that the oil gets changed in her car or dinner is done to her standards or whatever else) she makes up reasons to emotionally and verbally abuse you.

Here are some links I hope you will use.

[link] [link]

Cindy I hope your son's surgery goes really really well

Cindy, thinking of you and your son. Lots of ~ma.

Gud, I really hope you can listen to what the people here are saying. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a good human being. You are not responsible to keep everyone around you happy or make 100% of their wishes come true. Please take care of yourself.

Cindy, all good thoughts for best results for your son.

Gud, what everyone said above. Also, YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP!!!!!! You are not well, and your wife's treatment of you is contributing to the problem.

Many of the things you say remind me of myself two years ago. I ended up with a nervous breakdown (and feel free to think of that as a euphemism) that led to a week in the hospital and a psych unit. Trust me, you'd rather go another route to learn the lessons I learned there.

If nothing else, call a hot line. Talk to someone who's been trained to help. 800-273-8255 is a good place to start.

Gordon D. Sondland, an Ambassador who will defy an order to testify to the House impeachment committee today, is also a literal Leverage villain.

So this may not be at all relevant, but I saw a reference on the internet yesterday to a thing called "rejection sensitive dysphoria," which apparently can lead to people catastrophizing any negative feedback. Gud, I wonder if anything like that is in play here? Which I only suggest as another reason to talk to a professional -- maybe there are techniques you can learn around how you react to your wife's criticisms.

Jesse, I definitely do that to a certain extent, and have been wondering for a while if something like that was in play here.

Gud, please get some help. If not for you than for your kids.

Best wishes for your son, Cindy!

Gud, I'm so sorry your wife is choosing to ruin your well-deserved vacation. I hope you can take care of yourself and take advantage of the resources your friends here have suggested.

A house in my row burned down yesterday. I wasn't home but my husband was and it was pretty traumatic. The 2 human residents were taken to the hospital and are evidently alive although Bob, and our other neighbors really thought one of them wasn't going to make it based on how she looked when the firefighters pulled her out. One of their dogs made it out but another dog and two cats didn't. Fortunately, the houses on either side are o k except for some smoke. The folks whose place burned are kind of problematic neighbors. She's lived there off and on since she was a kid, it was her grandparents' house, and I think she's got some mental health or developmental issues. I thought the guy who lived with her was her father but he's not. Maybe stepfather? Anyway, he's generally unpleasant and specifically racist. Anyway. The news interviewed my husband which he said was deeply uncomfortable. He was fine , though, according to our neighbor who saw it.