I'm very thankful that my mom and I had talked about her wishes in the years before she died. Her body was donated to science and then they returned her ashes. For now, she is on the bookshelf because she wanted to be sprinkled in my flower garden. Which I don't have because I have a black thumb. So, for now, she is on the shelf.

In completely other news, I leave Thursday for a long business trip in India. I just found out today that exchanging small gifts is traditional. I had not planned on this. I need to figure out 15 things I can take. Don't have a ton of space in my luggage but I can get creative if needed. Any ideas?

left specific instructions that they wanted to be cremated and for us to throw a party at their favorite Mexican restaurant. Which is what we did.

Mom had pre-paid her cremation, so I ended up writing a check for around $800 to the funeral home rather than a couple/few thousand. She had mentioned just wanting a gathering at a restaurant rather than a real funeral, so we also had a gathering at a Mexican restaurant she had been a fan of - that was also just a short walk away from the pier that she had always said she wanted to be (sssshh! totally illegally) scattered from. In recent years (after we lost our cat, Domino) she started saying she wanted her ashes with his, under a tree in the backyard (she really loved him - he was a great cat). But many people were aware of the Ocean Beach Pier plan, so we split the difference. We scattered some off the pier (ssshhh!), and the rest I'll put with Domino under the tree...when I remember where we put the box with Domino's remains.

As for me, Mom is still too fresh in my mind so I'm choosing denial for the time being. Choosing not to deal is also a choice, right?

Suzi, personal-type gifts or business-type?

Oh wow, Suzi, that's pretty awesome! Is there anything Colorado-y you could bring?

My sister and I had a convo many years ago, after finding out Grandma's ashes were "probably in your aunt's closet somewhere? I think?" that we both were "do whatever's useful/donate what you can, other than the face, have a funeral or a stone only if there are people alive who want one to go to" So I'm down with that. (Sorry anyone who needs a face transplant--you can have anything else?)

Awesome, Suzi! Something small made with turquoise maybe? I think of Colorado when I see turquoise because I saw a lot there.

Part of me wants to be turned into a Lifegem so my descendents can wear me as a creepy haunted necklace, but more realistically I want to be disposed of in whatever way is best for the environment. Maybe I could just be chucked into an anaerobic digester and recycled as energy.

One person on my India team asked if I like books and the co-worker from Hawaii who I'm meeting there is also bringing gifts and had asked if Crowley liked pumpkin. So more personal-ish? She has worked with the team longer, I'm the newbie so I don't really have ideas of person specific gifts. The majority are men.

My sister has the ashes for both of my parents. As far as I'm aware they are still sitting on a shelf. I never did see Mom's ashes or the urn, even though I ended up paying for all of it.

Sigh.

I want anything remotely useable donated. H and I had always assumed cremation, but with disclosures over air and water pollution we're thinking elsewise. I'd always thought a body farm would be useful, and nine tons more thinkable for me than burial. I know I'll be dead and it won't matter, but I'm claustrophobic--sealed in a coffin in a vault...(shudder) NO. Also, WA is now doing human composting, so that will probably be what we do. Though I do have a place in NC where I'd like to be scattered, as well as one here in PNW. I really don't want any sort of marker.

We scattered FiL's remains on a prominent landscape feature, and some of StE's as well. If his kids want to visit, they have that location--it's picturesque, and they had all visited several times and they know he loved the place. We also scattered some of his ashes at Ft. Macon--another place he loved--looking out to sea. And brought the rest with us. He's also scattered at Deception Pass, looking out onto the Pacific. H likes to say he watches from both shores.

Suzi, Googling around, people seem to be in agreement with meara, that something local-ish might be appreciated. I'm seeing mixed messages about edible stuff - some say it will be so appreciated, others that it won't clear customs. I asked whether personal to know whether something with your company logo might be appreciated (we've done giveaways at work with multi-tools, multi-tool pens, and power banks that all went over very well with all genders), but if they're the same company as you, maybe not. The first thing that popped into my head was bookmarks...the idea of something with either pretty Colorado scenery, or something that you made yourself (I have no idea how long beading something would take, or how much labor, but it popped into my head so I'm throwing it out there).

I don't know if you can get it through Customs, but if you were here on the Right Coast, I'd think about maple syrup or maple sugar candy, which is pretty damn exotic nearly everywhere else in the world. Tree blood! Also, Indians that I've met appreciate sweets, so there's that. A couple of times I've suggested breakfast places around here to foreign visitors, with an injunction to try real maple syrup on their pancakes.

What local goods could you get from Colorado? Anything cowboy-related, like a miniature Longhorn figurine? Or little dreamcatchers, like the kind that people hang from their rear view mirrors?