That is so awesome, Teppy. Tim is a rock star!

Year in Review?

hmmph.

While 2015 was devastating on a personal loss level, 2016 just seemed to be MACRO gut-punching.

I did a personal top 10 on FB of some good to me things.

Beyond that, I started counting calories (then stopped), then started going to the gym. I need to put the two together and that might be the kicker. I did lose some weight (5-7 lbs) and absolutely lost some fat. I have maintained for several months though and am not where I want to be, so a kick in the pants is needed.

I continue to struggle with loving stuff and simultaneously wanting to declutter/simplify my life. I think I am still headed in the right direction. A garage sale Memorial Day saw several pieces of furniture leave the house. Despite clothes shopping like a banshee for several months, I did maintain balance and got rid of almost 1 for 1 things coming in. Books I decreased over all and if I kick up my reading habit like I am hoping, that should continue.

I got back on anti-anxiety meds and that was very very good. Low-level depression remains a no good situational thing. I'm lonely and mac is often non-communicative and angry. It will get better.

I lost both cats this year and it was hard for both, but also very different. They were 16-17.5, so they had good long lives. I miss them. I am also trying to enjoy the freedom of fewer commitments. (Dog sitting now for a BIG dog is curing me of any desire to get another pet).

This place and you all (both here and on FB) continue to be a bright spot. So much support, and joy sharing, and helpful advice/guidance. We rallied this year around those who needed it and I love us for that. I got closer to a few of you and hope to continue that trend. Real in person visits is as close to a resolution I am gonna make, but plans are in the works for at least 2 trips. As always Thanks and my guest room is available for retreats, respite, visits, and even small family vacations (I have a trundle bed option AND inflatables also).

I think I've talked enough about the bad parts of 2016, so I won't recap them. On the upside, my brother has been sober for 10 months now after his scary-ass relapse that took me to Colorado, and he's been in therapy since then, too. Family and friends have had babies and/or are expecting. Tim's niece and her BF got engaged and will be married in September. Work has been good for me. We had a wonderful vacation in July. Tim's rheumatoid arthritis isn't totally controlled yet, but it's improved, and his test results are much, MUCH better than they were when he was diagnosed in March. And he doesn't have lung disease, thank god.

I started therapy again, and while it's hard, it's also really helping. Going back on Lexapro seems to be helping, too. Taking that improv class in July was the best damn thing I've done in a long time. It seriously got me through the ugly-ass end of this year.

And our besties got married in August and I had the absolute joy and honor of officiating, which was probably the best part of 2016.

I said this on FB: I tend not to make resolutions (though I do need to get back to lifting weights), but I've followed the lead of others I've seen who pick 1 word to encompass their upcoming year. Being me, though, it's a phrase and not 1 word:

Do the work.

In all areas of my life, personally and professionally. Politically. It's time to do the work, whatever 2017 has in store. (I suppose that applies to lifting weights, too.)

Well, I hope he gets to share a cocktail with Debbie Reynolds.

Oh Consuela, I hope this is true! So sorry!

This year has been rough. To everyone here who has reached out to me with a kind word: Thank you. It has meant more than I could possibly express.

Onward, together.

I don't want to rehash this year, or make promises out loud about the next one. I'll say, today has been a good one, and I have hope for more good ones to come, for all of us. Happy New Year, Buffistas.

My life has just been in a holding pattern for 2016. I'm hopeful for a lot of change, good and bad, in 2017.

I feel weird sometimes saying that 2016 was a dumpster fire, because in truth, my immediate important things are good. My family is healthy and together, we love each other, and we are comfortable and have things we enjoy doing. While my two remaining in-laws had a massive heart attack and cancer respectively this year, they both seem to be fine now.

But.

Not only did some of the public deaths hit me hard (it was the death of the 20th Century in many ways), I lost several friends in horrible ways. One died in Afghanistan. One died in her sleep, leaving two small children orphaned. And one, who had been a good friend for years, murdered his 3yo daughter, set his house on fire, and shot himself.

I lost friends in non-death ways also. My work partner made some professional and personal choices that left me unable to remain her friend, and I dropped ties with other friendly acquaintances over online behavior and/or politics.

And, while I finally was able to leave Booz Allen and become entirely self-employed, the client situation shifted as well, leaving me working for a Trump wanna-be and seeing everything I've built for the last 8 years get trashed.

2017. Bring it. I teach "fail fast and fail forward" - failure will happen. The goal is for that failure to not be the last thing we do. If possible, it should help us be better going forward.

2017. Bring it. I teach "fail fast and fail forward" - failure will happen. The goal is for that failure to not be the last thing we do. If possible, it should help us be better going forward.

Excellent!

2016 was mixed for me. There were no close family deaths this year, which was a nice change. And I got a nice new nephew-in-law when my niece got married in April. Work went well, and I even got a raise (thanks, Obama). But the whole election season hit me hard. As Theoden said in The Two Towers, what can men do against such reckless hate? There are thousands of people who support Trump because he's a racist misogynist, and hundreds of thousands who are willing to let the racism and misogyny go, as long as we knock down poor people some more and give rich people tax breaks. I don't like knowing that about my fellow Americans.

Anyway, it gives me more incentive to move closer to family (as did my sister's health scare over Christmas). Whether that comes in the form of MI, IL, or northwestern NY will depend on job openings. And if Trump does a 180 and turns out to be made of orange awesome, well, I'll be happy and relieved, and still closer to the family.

Moving my LJ posts to Dreamwidth opened my eyes to a stark reality. For at least a dozen years I have been bemoaning being overworked and out of shape. Enough already. Do or do not. There is no try.