I'm trying to be hopeful. Trying but everytime I check something else... it's going to be a relentless pace.

I want to take a break from FB and the news but I'm worried about what I'll find out when I look again,.. how much stuff they'll be to process.

I'm alternating between "I'm finally making progress in my life (well inner progress) and it was looking like I'm might learn some social skills and what's the point it's all going away. " and "Fuck those fuckers for making me afraid and scared when I was finally learning about myself and starting to get past he point of thinking I'd wasted my whole life. Just fuck all of them I'm going to thrive to spite them all. " and also "I want to punch them all in the face. and the balls . Repeatedly."

That is some bullshit, Epic. Good for you for sending the message.

Ugh, Sue!

I know I'm sick, but it seems like today was unusually exhausting, right? Like, just keeping up with news. So exhausting.

Yeah, after work it took me like five minutes to count out sixty cents in change. My brane was done.

Tomorrow we leave to go look around at neighborhood near Detroit.

Ooh, good luck, Scrappy!!

Got through most of my taxes, waiting on forms.

This weekend was so good. The connection and conversations with V were invigorating and uplifting and inspiring. And now I'm darkly waiting for the next harbinger of the US apocalypse.

Keeping up with news is probably the reason.

I have not been keeping up with the news (not really on purpose, just been busy with work (and, oh, look, still working at 7pm. So.) and I think that was probably good for my mood.

Good luck and have fun, Scrappy!

Fuck those fuckers indeed, askye.

God, I am selfishly glad I no longer work for the DOE. I can't imagine the stress levels in my old workplace right now.

Oh, yeah. My agency is somewhat protected, but I have friends & colleagues at other agencies like EPA and NPS, and it's terrifying. The freeze on contracts/grants at EPA will result in people losing their jobs, and the hiring freeze is going to hobble agencies which are already wounded from so many years of the sequester.

It's all so fucking petty: government jobs are jobs. Government contractor jobs are jobs.

I honestly don't know how insulated I am. We're a subcontract within a project within NASA on a major hiring binge. Non controversial, so likely safe, but I ache for other NASA contracts in earth, climate and weather sciences.

I ache for other NASA contracts in earth, climate and weather sciences.

To be fair, I was more sanguine last week. But the bullshit going down right now has shaken my confidence. Many of my coworkers will be fine, but my team does environmental compliance and permitting. It's entirely possible that by the end of his term, the Voldemort Administration will have presided over the repeal of all the major federal environmental laws that brought this country back from environmental catastrophe.

And as others have noted, its' all so fucking petty. The Wall Street bankers are not going to make a lot more money if the Clean Air Act is overturned, or the Endangered Species Act. They just don't like anyone saying "No," to them, and federal environmental laws have been used as a tool to push back against corporate greed for a long time now.

I just realized that there are a lot of industries that depend on funding from the government agencies that That Man is looking to get rid of. And they have lobbyists too.

Fucking disaster.

And they have lobbyists too.

Not enough of them, sigh.