And I'm not talking about this at all on Facebook, because whenever I mention it, my mom calls me, crying, to tell me how sorry she is that she didn't help me more or do something, and then I have to comfort her, and I'm just not up for that right now.

Hil, ugh. It's exhausting to have to comfort someone who's distraught that you're upset. My family is like that too. Either they minimize my experiences or they get me to do it to make them feel better.

There's so much more to all this than the rage and sorrow at the sexist mistreatment. Anger at how others responded to it, despair at being emotionally abandoned, grief over what could have been in a world that worked differently. Who would I have been if.

Hil- the comforting is exhausting.

Zenkitty et als. I did lose weight by addressing my diabetes. Unfortunately I have to say the comments come back. Not just cat calling or whatever, but literal conversations with coworkers about my nice figure! (These are older women). I should dress to show off my nice figure, how am I single with my nice figure etc. it seems absurd to complain about having a nice figure, but I am a Myers Briggs INFP, I live mostly in my head not my body so it is weird to me to constantly be aware of it.

It's so painful to read all these things and know that so many other girls were hurting the same way. I developed really early, too, and all of fifth grade I had boys (outside school) calling me "Mrs. Mature." It was humiliating, even if the insult itself was pretty mild. It drew attention exactly where I didn't want it, because I hated that there was nothing I could do about it. I was already ashamed and freaked out that I was the only girl I knew who had her period.

It teaches you at a really early age what men want from you, and at the same time, what they think of you for having it.

and then I just...forget about them. Because they're classed in my mind as just part of the experience of being female.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got a whole barrel of memories that keep resurfacing and then sinking, and it makes me want to drink an entire barrel every time it shows up.

I'm sorry about all the bad experiences, and Steph, your parents are... that's some crazy stuff. I want my daughter to have a good sex life, but I don't want to be in in or near the loop on that.

I got home at 1:00am last night and had to get up at 5:45am. Caffeine will be an important part of my diet today.

Yeah, I have been doing a lot of deliberately not looking at certain memories (although mine are all from actual adulthood which is a weird thing to be grateful for but it kinda feels like a blessing at this point)

Not just cat calling or whatever, but literal conversations with coworkers about my nice figure! (These are older women).

It was all I could do to not to say something to a woman I saw with a particularly cute figure a week or so ago! Fortunately I controlled myself and just pointed her out to a friend discreetly.

Proud of my local US Rep! She just led a group of Representatives to deliver a request for an FBI investigation before the hearings go forward. Live streamed the delivery of the written request. Not sure how many women reps there were there, but it was a bunch.

I have no feel for how the Kavanaugh confirmation will play out. I think the GOP is afraid that backing down with play badly with the base, but it would only take two defections. I don't think any blue dogs will vote to confirm as all the controversy gives them cover.

I am watching but may need to leave a BP cuff on to make sure I don't stroke out.