Thinking of youthful horrors is a part of my day today in other ways as well. Today is my nephew's 20th birthday. That means that it is 2 years ago today that he killed a man driving intoxicated, and for the family the 2 year anniversary of a teen girl losing her dad. On our side of the equation without exception all of us are heartbroken that this young man's life is forever ruined, but we also grieve for his victims and know that he has to pay a price for the immense harm he caused their family.
My nephew is still in jail awaiting trial. His lawyer is still working to try and get his trial moved to juvenile court since he had only been 18 for minutes. Basically delaying proceedings as long as possible in hopes that a plea deal will be more favorable as the case grows older. 2 years down, unclear how many he will end up serving. He will be pleading guilty at some point, because he is. The family filed the civil wrongful death suit a couple days ago as they grow more frustrated with the criminal delays. Only surprised that they waited this long. He has nothing, but the judgement come and he will pay some percentage of whatever earnings he is able to make when he gets released from jail.
It all sucks and we all cry over the situation often, but I have never heard anyone in our family make an excuse for him being a teen. We have looked inward and remembered times when we shouldn't have driven as teens, but we have never questioned his responsibility and the fact that there is a price to be paid.
To tie this together, yes, Kavanaugh probably had an alcohol problem that created a monster in high school and college. But this doesn't relieve him of the responsibility to pay for those actions. Period. He hasn't taken responsibility at all.
I am pretty sure my (private boarding) high school yearbook contains references to a gang rape. I have no idea how it wasn't caught, but maybe yearbook nerds are pretty innocent? I think I didn't realize myself until much later.
I actually just Googled the woman this morning, thinking of it.
Wow, geez flea.
My public high school was so big who knows what could have been going on. But it also meant it was big enough to find your people and mostly avoid too much insider/outsider drama. Middle school was much worse for bullying. (And elementary school, for me)
Ugh, flea.
Elementary school was worse for me too. By the time I got to high school, most people just ignored me.
I sometimes tell people I'm proud of having gotten through high school without being raped. It happened to other girls and I would have been an easy target, with no one to speak for me, so I was careful. And lucky.
This was in a public high school, in the '60s, with a very toxic culture. I got out of that school and that town the minute I could.
In high school I hated the fact that I was essentially treated as non-sexual (and I know that this isn't the experience of every person with a disability), but lately I'm starting to feel grateful for it.
I've become kind of fixated on this video. It seems to be something needed.
When I was a very naive freshman, a senior guy invited me to go out to his car at lunch. I couldn't think of any reason why I would want to go to his car and said no. Plus he was interfering with my reading time. It was many years before I realized what would likely have happened.
I was pretty wildly promiscuous in high school. Generally my friends at that time were the hippie set, and ya know make love not war and all that. I didn't encounter the depraved ugly sexual assault side of life until after my school years.
The single bad HS experience was a family friend boyfriend who said hurtful things about me, which was awful at the time. Later at his father's funeral he apologized profusely and was sincere in his regret. I forgave him with equal sincerity. A year later he committed suicide, stress of having to step into taking care of his father's business way before he was ready. He was a good looking, rich, entitled ass in his youth, but I believe he recognized it at some point and was trying to make amends. Blah.
