msbelle, are you worried about mac not being interested in looking at colleges, or feeling bad that you're not taking him on those visits, or something else?

If it makes you feel any better, I was just having a discussion with a bunch of HS teachers today about how the relentless push for college for every kid isn't actually a good thing for every kid. Plenty of them would do better to take a year or two "off" before college, or more, and take the time to figure out what they want out of life *before* spending a bucketload of money on more school. I don't know if this is true of mac, of course -- just throwing it out there.

I wish he was interested in a path after high school: college, technical school, apprenticeship at a career.

So what do these kids do in those one to two years "off"? Because living at home is a no go and he won't make enough money working fast food to afford an apartment.

He will end up registered at the nearby Community College by default because that is what the no-plan having friends are doing. It's not because they have any interest in that school, or because it has a program that their parents know is good. It is closest, it is cheapest, and the path of least resistance.

Msbelle, you know what fits your son. But have the fleeting feels.

So I've apparently become the mentor/confessor to... our newest scientist. This.is.not.how.this.was.supposed.to.work. I'm doing a kinda crappy job training my own minion, but bangup job with this one. Uncertain in claiming their authority/not feeling like they know enough/ worried about the politics? look, I have social & political capital to burn, I know these people & culture, I'll forge the path if you make the case to me & I agree. You feel at sea? That's OK! No one expected you to know 25 yrs in a damned 8 weeks. Plus, they got a responsibility for a project no one else wanted to touch because such a nebulous nightmare, I only can describe the intent, not machinations. And they are doing great! More progress in 2 months than we've made in a year.

But I'm totally their venting-buddy-emotional-support-reference-desk. It's weird (and the wrong person! Where is my minion? Where is their scientist mentor?)

I've got to train & bond more with my minion.

We kinda suck at training/mentoring, except it is good to know I don't totally suck, just misdirected. Oy.

nothing fits him. he has unrealistic expectations and illusions of grandeur. He has never studied or worked hard. He blows through money. He has a car not starting right now and refuses to even help me try to figure out what it might be. He does nothing to help around the house, only sees his grandparents when I force him to and bucks any and all attempts to prep him for what is awaiting him in 12 months.

My brother suggested I start talking to him about EBT processes rather than college.

He may just have to fail on his own to figure it out. My brother joined the Army for notreally reasons, but I cannot recommend that these days. I'm sorry you have to worry about all this.

Sorry, msbelle. That sounds really difficult and frustrating.

I'm sorry, msbelle. He sounds so much like my 26 yo. The only reason he has an apartment, with a friend, is because I found it. The only reason he has a checking account is because I opened it. The only reason he has an electric account is because I opened it. But at least I got him out of the house. I'll also end up giving him my car because it increases the chances of him not losing his job. He bought his last car for $500 then lost it to a towing company when he couldn't afford to retrieve it.

He has the tools to have a successful life. He was given every opportunity and an abundance of love. The rest is on him. (both Mac and B)

The only thing I can say is that all the people I know who were total fuckups in their youth eventually turned into stable adults and are fine. (Eventually.)

In other news, it's a crime that there aren't more black women with this kind of juice, but I just saw a tweet from Roxane Gay where she says, "I want to write about Insatiable. Editors hit me up." and in the few responses I glanced at were both the New Yorker and InStyle.

Nice, Jesse.

It looks like I have some research to do before my primary later this month. 7 candidates for the Dem slot for governor. And a bunch of other races. I've been lax in following.

I have the biggest crush on Roxanne Gay.