No, no, no. If people stop observing the stabbing on Fridays norm, I'll have to start wearing chainmail under my shirt every day and it chafes.

My mom's best friend is an incessant chatterbox like that. Actually Mom recently went shopping with her and they ran into my Aunt Barbara, who could also talk the hind legs off a donkey. We laughed because before he died Dad had recently pondered what would happen if they met and started talking at one another.

It's perhaps good it occurred in a wide open department store where the oxygen supply couldn't be used up quickly.

As you may recall, one friend on my trip last week brought her girlfriend, and she was OK, but she would just start talking about something else in the middle of someone else's story! What the actual fuck? (She's not invited back.)

I am currently in the tricky situation where I have just a little work to do, so it seems like I can waste All The Time, but actually I can't because that work does need to happen!!

A lot of ~ma to Matilda, JZ, and family.

I forgot that she never, EVER shuts the fuck up. She will not stop talking. Ever. Like, if someone is clearly reading a book, she sits down and launches into a monologue anyway. About NOTHING.

Edited to add:

but she would just start talking about something else in the middle of someone else's story! What the actual fuck?

You have described my not-so-new colleague (yes, both of you). After two lunches in shared kitchenette I learned to avoid her company, notice when she is going to lunch, and eat in the work's patio if must. However, I know I appreciate quiet work surroundings and peaceful lunches more than others.

I'm in the living room right now and SiL #1 is on the patio with Tim and his bros, and she has been talking without a break for 15 minutes. Holy God.

Today might be pedicure day b/c it's rainy, and I'm trying to brace myself for hours of nonstop chatter.

I forgot that she never, EVER shuts the fuck up. She will not stop talking. Ever. Like, if someone is clearly reading a book, she sits down and launches into a monologue anyway. About NOTHING.

I had a neighbor like that back in Brooklyn. (In the same building, so we ran into each other pretty often.) Eventually I learned to just say "uh-huh, see you later" and walk away. It's trickier when it's family though!

You have described my not-so-new colleague (yes, both of you).

Oh nooooo.

Also I meant to say "oh no!" to Dana. I feel like that should get you out of at least one 7am meeting.

I'm sorry, Karl. I love dogs, and I hope to live in a situation where I can have one again someday. But you don't know what strange dogs are going to do, and their people owe it to the dogs and society to keep them under proper control. I forget where you live, but in concealed carry states, that interaction could have resulted in a dead dog.

JZ, I'm so sorry about how Matilda's camp experience ended. It's great that there's extended family support, though.

she would just start talking about something else in the middle of someone else's story! What the actual fuck?

It just literally does not register with some people. My mother-in-law is one of them. And it is not a habit that gets better or more amusing with age.

I'm having oatmeal with half a banana. I don't even like bananas.

I guess it's an improvement that today I am wishing I had a banana rather than a cupcake. I mean, I wouldn't turn down a cupcake, but I am really bummed that all my bananas are at home.

That is some impressive zen, sarameg.

I think there was something else I meant to respond to but I had a feeling before I got out of bed today that it wouldn't be a great brain day for me and I was right.