{{{Maria and SO}}} And, yes, fuck toxic masculinity, and please, please un-fuck all the should-have-been-better lives it touches and damages or ends.

• **

Matilda's second year at the magical, incredible sleepaway camp has ended horribly -- she's one of five kids diagnosed this afternoon with hand, foot and mouth disease. They were all quarantined in an office far away from everyone else and families had to go pick them up and get them away from the rest of the campers ASAP. And of course we don't have a car, and Hec is out of town doing long tense Giappetta meetings and utterly at the mercy of other people's calendars and I leave for Reno tomorrow to help my mom while she has and then recovers from hip replacement surgery.

So EM heroically drove her gentleman friend's SUV all the way up to camp a couple of hours ago, signed Matilda out and has now bunked down with her at a motel in town, to leave tomorrow morning when it's light again (the roads are very twisty and completely unlit). She said Matilda and Emmett were both sobbing, and then the rest of the counselors started sobbing and all Matilda's tentmates started sobbing, and then EM cried along with all the rest of them.

We are so beyond lucky to have her in our lives and I can never repay her for this goodness, but I am heartbroken for Matilda and for Emmett. And for Hec, stuck way far away in a different time zone and unable to help any more than me. And I still have to leave tomorrow, and if I so much as stop off along the way to say hello the surgeons won't let me take care of my mom because at 76 she's on an incredibly strict infection control protocol.

Everyone is a poor noodle and I hurt for all of them!

Oh, JZ, that's awful. My heart goes out to all involved, and I hope Matilda's recovery is swift and complete.

Oh, JZ, that sucks. I'm glad you all have your family of all the kinds to help. You guys made all that & everyone is better for it.

I need to...boast?bewilder?comment?marvel? on how fucking patient & zen the last couple of weeks have made me. My parents rearranged my fridge while I was at the pool. In the past, this would...chafe, to say least. I was grateful (even though I got ribbing for having 6 bottles of the same dressing because I forget when shopping & have the Great Depression gene.) And my dad has disappeared into my basement several times for an hour & I have no idea what he's doing & even though it's a disaster, I'm just like, eh? I know my mom swept the stairs & to the washer because she opted to go barefoot & I haven't cleaned the floors down there in years. I always worse shoes. Eh, I meant to, now I don't need to. They wanted to do something.

And dad fixed the sometimes slow shower drain & who knows what the fuck else.

I've had my moments, mom's deteriorating memory & anxiety is still a thing,but...I'm getting to be a better daughter. Better me.

Even if I still need to run away to swim/explore to take a break.

Thanks, Karl, love. She and I just FaceTimed and she seems to be feeling more or less okay, no longer feverish and not achy or breaking out in blisters or anything else. But if she's only two or so days in she's still contagious, and so sleepaway camp is done for the year.

Everyone is a poor noodle and I hurt for all of them!

Aw, including you! What a sucky situation.

Ugh, JZ. I'm so sorry. ltc had that this year, and you're right not to go near Matilda before seeing your Mom. The adults didn't end up with the rash, but we all had terrible joint pain for several days.

Oh, no! I'm sorry, JZ and Matilda.

{{Matilda and family}} I am so sorry that she has had this summer experience, but also grateful that you have a village to pinch hit for you. Hip~ma for your mom and wishes for quick recovery.

sarameg, this zenlike transformation is a very big thing! It will serve you well in the years to come. Also, super impressive. Knowing when you need to run away is also very important.

Karl, I'm sorry. My dog is a big scary looking baby. I know she wouldn't hurt anyone, but I always ask if I should put her outside if someone comes to the house that may be spooked by her. Even being a lifetime owner of large dogs I get spooked if a big one comes charging at me!

The honeymooners have arrived in Otter Lake. DH and I are in final frantic prep mode to head that way ourselves. The list, she is long.

Oh no! Poor Matilda and family, and yay for EM! Good luck to your mom, too, JZ.

That is awesome, sara.

Oh, man, JZ that's a lot of not what anyone wants.

I'm sorry that happened to you, Karl.