Jesse, that's a good idea and I thank you for it. I think, knowing myself, going to a meeting like that would just trigger a big ol' PA.
It just feels like you're going to need somewhere to get this stuff out, because it really is Too Much to hold on to alone -- do you have a therapist? (I will drop this now, so no need to post back!)
The world is just appalling.
Do I need to ignore history as well as the news?
Yes and yes. History is way worse than the news.
I am supposed to leave in 15 min for a massage and I am also NOT supposed to leave until I hear back from corporate that all the closing has cleared invoicing. There is only he slimmest chance that both of those happen.
Boooo. I hope you got your massage!!
I GOT MY MASSAGE. I was not cleared to leave, but decided to risk it. Turns out only one field office had issues and it was not me, so HAHAHA. Of course massage lady was like, well you were really wound tight so I couldn't get in the muscles as well as normal. But oh well.
Ok I told y'all about my frustrating work day, but I did not tell you about the nugget of JOY from Mac!
Let's go back to Monday.
Me: let's put the tree up Wed.
Mac: Grumble grumble, put it in your livingroom. I hate you opening the curtains when you put it up.
Me: how about you help me for 30 min on the tree and I won't open the curtains.
Mac: fine
Wednesday we text during the day and I remind him, tree tonight, I really do want your help decorating it.
Wednesday I am home before him, I am just starting to clear the area when he comes home. I move furniture and go get the tree, lights and tree skirt stuff. He sits on the couch puts on headphones and starts playing a game/watching videos. I put on some Christmas music and put the tree together and start stringing the lights. He starts laughing at whatever he is doing more and more. It's obvious to me he is trying to be annoying, he could after all take his computer to his room. As I start on the last string of lights, he gets up to turn on the tv.
Me: really? I'm listening to music.
Mac: I wanna watch.
Me: I really did try to be as considerate with you as possible about this. Choosing a time and only asking for 30 min. You refuse to be considerate of anyone else even for one night. (Background here, Mac has basically sat in a room by himself when we get together with family for Holidays for the last two years. My repeated message is 1) rude 2) We all do things we may not want to for other people, it's called being considerate)
I leave the room and haven't done any more with the tree since. Haven't spoken about it, and really haven't spoken to him much.
Today he texted me "sorry for being a jerk about the tree. I'll help you with it"
!!!!!!
SORRY!
Unprovoked by me starting a discussion about it. I about fell off my chair.
Well, then!
Didn't get seated on a jury, but got as far as a courtroom for an arson & assault case. Almost stood for the more or less likely to believe police question, but didn't because it sent me down a whole mental rabbit hole of skepticism & participate or subvert or both and weighing plausibility versus supposed authority. All moot, in any case.
Well, that was a long day. Cash handling, whee. Now I am starving and too tired to out for food so I am eating peanut butter straight out of the jar.
-t, that is perfectly civilized as long as you are using a utensil of some sort to get the PB out of the jar.
A utensil of some sort was used! Hooray!
For the first time in months, I watched broadcast TV as it aired (AoS premiere) and was exposed to commercials I couldn't avoid. They weren't as obnoxious as I was afraid, but I think I didn't recognize people I was expected to. I'm treating them like anthropological exhibits anymore. There was one ad for jewelry, "one diamond for your best friend, one diamond for your true love, one ring for the woman who's both," and I said, "I'd rather have a pair of matched daggers, thanks." Fortunately, I was married to a man who would have thought that perfectly reasonable.
