See how I tried to make everything about me! Shout-out to Steph's mom.

My Dad, of course, was like "It's probably your heart," even though he had stomach pains that he thought were his heart BUT turned out to be gallbladder! Even when his pain WASN'T his heart and was actually his gallbladder, he's mournfully telling me, well, MINE is clearly my heart and when the CT scan shows nothing, I'll have to have an angiogram to check how blocked my arteries are.

My parents, it must be said, SUCK.

If I have to actually have my gallbladder out, I'm seriously thinking of not telling them until it's over and I'm back home. At which point my mom will talk for 20 minutes about her stomach and my dad will say that it's STILL my heart.

naturally he feels he can help fix the country more as a private citizen.

Lemme tell ya, I for one welcome D. Trump, Private Citizen. Fuck right off back to your golden tower, my dude. Just go.

Pence is a horror show in his own right, but I believe he won't blow up the planet because of his insecurity.

Pence is a horror show in his own right, but I believe he won't blow up the planet because of his insecurity.

He might blow it up for God, but I don't think enough sinners have been dragged kicking and screaming back into the fold for that. I haven't looked at the Armageddon checklist in a while, but there are still several steps that have to be taken before destroying the world.

Geez, Steph. You're a tower of strength for even still talking to them.

Cute sandals! Sorry about the phone, Sparky. I got a work email recently that had the signature "I STILL don't have a phone. If you need to reach me send an email with URGENT in the subject" but I am pretty sure it was not from your organization.

Good luck with the CT scan, Tep! Answers and solutions~ma

I haven't looked at the Armageddon checklist in a while, but there are still several steps that have to be taken before destroying the world.

No one has successfully gengineered that perfect red heifer yet, right? That's my favorite.

Geez, Steph. You're a tower of strength for even still talking to them.

They are 90% of the reason I'm in therapy. (The amusing part is that each one of them thinks that I'm in therapy because of the other. Dad thinks it's because Mom is a horrible overbearing harpy, and Mom thinks it's because Dad is the actual worst. And they're both right!) They are also 90% of why my brother is in therapy. My poor parents. Both kids are no longer going to put up with their shit. (Autocorrect made that "put up with their shirt," and I guess I'm not really judgmental about their clothing choices, so shut up, Autocorrect!)

Hey, just about noon! Time for more barium smoothie and then I head out the door. Wish me gallstones!

Help! I have to make a Skype call to a recruiter in a few hours. Can someone make a Skype call with me to make sure it works? I haven't used Skype in at least 11 years.

IT has taken control of my computer.

Need to share all this online dating stuff. - one guy msgd me, I looked st his profile and saw some red flags for incompatibility, so replied generically. His next reply was "so I had not read your profile when I messaged and I think we could be friends, but probably not a couple, so hey wanna call me and gave me his #" Jesus, I thought I was passed the you're not someone I'd date, but let's fuck shit when I got out of college. - guy 14 years younger than me msgd me. Asked how I felt about younger men. Said he spent all weekend watching tv also so I asked what shows he watched. He said 1 show and asked me what I watched. I listed out a. Inch plus what I. I fed this summer and he was like "see ya" hahaha dropped for tv shows. - another guy talking about tv said all he watches is political talk shows, so I asked if he meant things like Face the Bation and he said no things like Bill Maher, Colbert, and some shows on Fox. I mean, Colbert is clearly late night talk show, right?

So, I googled it and it's apparently a real place, but I gotta say when I see a resume with a degree from "Life University" I roll my eyes. And google it.

I don't think people usually mean the real place when they put that, though.

Jesus, I thought I was passed the you're not someone I'd date, but let's fuck shit when I got out of college.

Yeah, no. Sorry!