When I misunderstand what she wants, she gets pretty angry so I just try to not make assumptions and not talk much.
Gud, I know I've said this before, but I have to say it again: that is not how a partnership works. Your wife should not get angry when you misunderstand what she wants. In relationships with different communication and thinking styles (like, hello, my own), both partners have to work at making the communication work.
You deserve to not constantly worry that your wife is going to be angry with you.
Facebook etiquette question: a family friend (friend's parent/parents' friend) just puts birthday messages on her own wall. Do I tell her that's not the best way???
I'd wait until she says something about "how come no one says thank you for birthday greetings on Facebook?" and respond with the explanation that many people may not see them because she posts them on her own wall, and instructions on how to post on someone else's.
What Jilli said. Also, I am a single person starting her own business while still working a part time job, and I still find time to do dishes, cook, make the bed, do laundry, etc. This is not an equal partnership. At all.
Gud, what would you think if a friend of yours was living the life you are?
F*ck southwest. Right in the ear.
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Oh hippocampus I am furious on your behalf. What happened to just being a considerate human? I live with giants and the guys routinely notice when someone can't reach something in a grocery store and ask if they can help. Being considerate and helpful to others is normal behavior, or at least I always thought so. And when it is your actual job to serve customers and be helpful, it should be required.
Grrrr, this is just wrong in so many ways!
Gud, what would you think if a friend of yours was living the life you are?
Exactly. Look at it from the outside like you were reading the book of your life, or watching it in a movie.
Timelies all!
Did much walking today. Went to Byward Market, Imagination Village and Parliament Hill. Did the tour of the Library of Parliament. Drooled over the architecture and the books.
I feel like crap now, but still marveling over Alaska. Have to wait on family for better pics, but am glad I stayed the photographing hand and just was there. There were a lot of times it felt a familiar foreign, like Australia, and I'm pretty sure it's because of similar mindsets. While next time (and there will be) I'd go without a guide, having one really helped, with both it being a family group and just it being a perspective from a local who has lived & embraced the life. (If you ever want to do a tour, Madonna at Alaskan Tours. It was also really helpful that in her off season, she runs activities at a VA senior home. I'll probably think about talking about that later. But we had a good winesoaked conversation one night, complete with a retired rock-roadie Keith Richards lookalike bartender and that's a whole other story.)
Yeah, mountains and moose and bears and glaciers and salmon, oh my.
...and I didn't bring back any salmon. Birch syrup and caramels, yes. Wish I'd bought local art, but while I saw a lot that was incredible, nothing that truly grabbed me personally. Brought home memories and pictures and a cold.
You deserve to not constantly worry that your wife is going to be angry with you.
Having to live with constant worry that your partner will be angry with you is an abusive goddamn relationship. Believing that it's your fault that your partner is constantly angry with you is goddamn gaslighting. Which is abusive.
Having to live with partner who doesn't do a fair share of the household labor (unless that partner is ill) is absolute bullshit. Everyone works. Everyone has other things that require their attention and energy, whether it's starting a business, raising kids, a beloved and time-consuming hobby, writing a book, hosting a podcast, etc. EVERYONE. It doesn't excuse foisting the vast majority of the household labor off on your spouse and then abusing him when he doesn't do it all.
Nobody should have to live like you are, Gud. Nobody. It's soul-crushing.
And no kids should have to watch one parent abusing the other. I can tell you from long experience that that is a situation that's horribly damaging. I'm 46 and just beginning to untangle the damage through fucking difficult, painful therapy. And I wish your kids didn't have to go through the same thing.
