sara, of course not, we're in the burbs. I refuse to purposely waste food.

He came back in and I told him I took his money to pay for it, also if he ever did that again he would lose his phone full stop.

Did not tell him that I tipped the drive $5 on a $18 order.

I don't know what to say, msbelle - at least not about that kind of rebellion.

I came in here to thank you all for being my found family. There is a thread on Facebook in which my brother ... jokingly I think ... attempted to put me in my place for daring to have a thought about superhero movies. Except that he did so where Buffistas could see it. My original urge was to say, "it's ok, that's my brother, he thinks he's allowed to talk to me like that." But talking with smonster, I am (re)learning that I don't have to pretend to be ok with the way my family treat me. I have a lot of conflicting feelings and one of those feelings is profound gratitude for this place.

Andi, I saw that post, and I was really taken aback.

I am (re)learning that I don't have to pretend to be ok with the way my family treat me.

This is something I'm dealing with in therapy, so I just wanted to say that I know it's hard work.

My narrative is that I left Cleveland and moved to Arizona to get away from my stepfather & mom. That does not explain why I never went back even for a visit. Maybe another part of my narrative is this, that I am protecting myself.

Maybe I'm not weak and too oversensitive.

Maybe I'm not weak and too oversensitive.

My therapist would say that you're not. (Because she tells me that I'm not, in the face of my entire family telling me for my whole life that I'm "too SENSITIVE!" in the face of gaslighting and mean jabs labelled as "jokes". Turns out that no, my family is just a bunch of dicks. Yours may be, too.)

And protecting your precious self however you need to is the most important thing you can do.

(Pardon me not doing a proper Meara, it's past my bedtime but I can't sleep and want to respond to WindSparrow while it's fresh)

My dear, I am sorry it's so hard and glad I happened to see it. I tempered my responses to him - my gut reaction was, "Who the fuck does he think he is?" I really thought he was a troll that followed you from another page until I saw the last name, which is when I PM'ed you. If that's what he considers humor, well…

In skimming to catch up I saw your earlier posts about feeling helpless and going back to being a hobbit, and I can't help but feel there's a connection there. You were told that you had nothing significant to offer the world, and I don't have asscaps big enough to convey my disagreement with that asinine crap. The work you do, your gracious heart, your eloquent smitings, your kitty parenting, and so much more - you are a gift to the world and to us. And I don't care if you can't internalize that, I'm saying it because it's true and I will keep saying it.

We may not have Wonder Woman's bracelets or lasso or abs, but we do have the human love that she rightly prizes. You have it in spades. We have it for each other. And slowly, bit by bit, i believe we can learn to have it for ourselves.

Because you know what? My thought when he said he didn't like me was "he's missing out, I'm eminently likeable." And that is not a thought that would have occurred to me, much less felt comfortable sharing, ten years ago. Aphrodite bless the Buffistas and meds and DBT and meditation.

Here endeth the rant.

House~ma to Scrappy, blood~ma to Zen, and Steph, let me know if you need me to check some relatives, because I'm in the mood (I know you don't, but yeah - those folks are on some bullshit).

I really thought he was a troll that followed you from another page until I saw the last name, which is when I PM'ed you. If that's what he considers humor, well…

Thing is, I can hear his voice saying this stuff, and it isn't without what passes for affection in our family. Twenty years ago.

My thought when he said he didn't like me was "he's missing out, I'm eminently likeable."

One of the things I didn't say that I discarded right along with "he's my brother, he's allowed to talk to me like that" was "she's my friend and she's as fierce as Diana, and if I have to choose, I will choose her". I'm sorry, I have not yet mastered how to navigate these waters. I am out of my depth.

If that guy doesn't like you... You must be awesome!

Andi is a Wonder Woman to me. I've often felt therapiized by her wise words, even when she is not talking to me.

Once upon a time, our friend Ginger did a Facebook intervention for me that was a lot like this one.

She calmly posted a reasonable question, the comment was immediately deleted, and the air in Virginia turned pretty colors with the ranting about my rude friends.

I never came here and thanked her for standing up for me. I was too embarassed. So II will say it anyway in the presence of her friends... Thank you very much. What you did meant the world to me.

Funny how family take it as such a right to treat us like dirt that anyone advocating for us is the bad guy.

Thank you, beloveds. Thank you for your support when I doubt myself. Thank you for showing me when I deserve better than what I or my relatives give me. Thank you for understanding my frailty.

Maybe I'm not weak and too oversensitive.

Nope, nope, nope. You're not.

You're a wonderful, insightful, funny person, and I'm incredibly glad that I get to read your words.