I alternate among thankfulness that I've come so far, frustration with what I'm still dealing with, and bitterness about how anxiety has affected every single aspect of my life to date.
With you on that, with ADHD and depression in place of anxiety. I can bounce between them pretty fast.
You are who thinks the thoughts, Connie. Which may or may not help, but it's something to think about. I rationally believe that there isn't really an "I" at the core of my being, but I don't emotionally feel it. But rationally thinking so can be a comfort.
Like those will ever come clean without someone at least rinsing and wiping them first.
Cascade Platinum, y'all. It's amazing.
Aunt Louise deserves a hug, but she'd probably wave her cane at us in annoyance.
I feel like she might enjoy a bit of trifle.
I try telling myself that my thoughts aren't me, but I got into a nasty existential loop of "Well, then, who the hell am I?"
Buddhism says you are the awareness of the thoughts. Like, the thoughts are waves but you are the ocean. It takes time to internalize it (oh look, another lifelong process) but I find it helpful. Also labeling the kind of thought or emotion helps me get some separationsfrom it. Thank you, DBT.
Good call, Amy.
Oh happy day, between my 3% raise, increasing my W-4 allowances, and decreasing my 401k witholding, my semi-monthly take home pay is more than my mortgage payment! Not quite as much as mortgage payment + student loan payment (which unfortunately both hit in the first half of the month), but still, much better than it was.
According to the fuzzy information I've gleaned from the internet, I'd need to be on the Percocet for a few weeks for dependence to become a problem. But honestly, I don't fucking care right now. Deal with pain now. Deal with other stuff later.
Did I mention that not only did the doctor give me Percocet without my asking, I got enough to take it more or less constantly for 30 days? Even though it was only a week away from my surgery. It made me think real hard about ita and other people who have problems getting access to adequate pain management.
And yeah, maybe Aunt Louise had access to laudanum, but that's how the killer manages to slip her the arsenic. I'm just saying.
(Is that executive function stuff?)
Ha ha, yup. I think I've successfully disguised a lot of my executive function stuff by using technology as an elaborate scaffolding to prop up my inner hot mess.
According to the fuzzy information I've gleaned from the internet, I'd need to be on the Percocet for a few weeks for dependence to become a problem. But honestly, I don't fucking care right now. Deal with pain now. Deal with other stuff later.
I was on the maximum dose for maybe 6 weeks before my surgery. And since the surgery worked and all the pain was gone when I woke up in recovery, I just stopped taking the percocet. That was my ticket to Withdrawal Town, where all the occupants are sweaty and jittery. So I had to taper off it, which was fine.
But you've only been taking it a couple of weeks, right?
