I went to Outback to get a drink and calm my nerves immediately, and even after dinner I was rattled enough that I left my credit card behind.

Understandable. Frankly I hope the screeching brakes scared the crap out of them too!

Yikes, Matt!

There was a woodpecker in our neighborhood when I was a kid that would rotate among several metal chimneys when he wanted to be loud. I think it was only in the spring? I just here the scrabbling sounds of Byrd feet perching on my chimney here, not nearly as loud but very interesting to the cats.

Yipes Matt, what a scare! Thank goodness for your quick reflexes

Congratulations, flea!

Meara, I lurves the name Whiskey Business.

Since my brother is getting his Masters in psychology, he and I regularly text each other to engage in an APA vs AMA style manual shit-talking flamewar. Good times.

I find this hilarious. Text conversations with my brother consist almost entirely of bad puns and obscure emojis.

Liese, my condolences on the Biscuit.

flea, congratulations on the new job! I think?

Other adult professional humans also have get-up-and-do-it problems!

Zen, I didn't think I had executive function problems until I recently realized that I have executive function problems. Oops. I've been trying to set up systems for myself not only to list the thing I need to do, but also to break it down into smaller tasks. Like, what do I actually need in order to do this? Will I need to go to a store? Do I need to do this now, or can it wait? If I need to do it soonish, what's the first step?

So, like, replacing a lightbulb would go: 1) Notice lightbulb has burned out. 2) Turn off/unplug light source. 3) Remove bulb from fixture. 4) Write down bulb information. 5) Find time to go to the hardware store to buy replacement bulb. 6) Replace bulb in fixture. 7) Pat self on back.

For Zen and the other depression people, here's something I pulled off Seanan McGuire's Tumblr a while ago. I keep it on hand for when things look bad:

DEPRESSION LIES. WE KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE. WE KNOW ALSO THAT SOME THINGS GROW STRONGER WITH REPEATING, AND SO: DEPRESSION LIES. DEPRESSION TELLS YOU THAT YOU ARE WEAK, BUT YOU ARE STRONG—SO STRONG. YOU CARRY THE DNA OF SURVIVAL IN EVERY CELL OF YOUR BODY. YOUR BONES ARE LACED WITH THE DUST OF GALAXIES, YOUR MIND IS POWERED WITH THE SOULS OF SUNS. YOU ARE A MIRACLE WALKING, AND YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THE LIES YOUR MIND ATTEMPTS TO TELL YOU.

And going with what Toddson quoted, having a "here are the list of things you need to do in order" isn't really useful when getting out of bed doesn't happen. For me, it does help when I actually feel capable of doing a thing.

Congrats, flea!

Matt, Wow! I'm glad you were able to stop in time!

I don't think I have executive function issues, but I sometimes fall into the trap of DO ALL THE THINGS!! or do none of the things. So that's why for me, focusing on one tiny thing is a good strategy -- either I get momentum to do more, or at least the one thing is done.

The Productive procrastination method is useful to me, at least at work. It does not do much for when I am sitting at home thinking, "tumblr, Facebook, or cleaning?" because Tumblr wins.