Yeah, but you're an amateur fry cook and I come from a long line of fry cooks that don't live past 25.

Buffy ,'Showtime'


Natter 75: More Than a Million Natters Served  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Steph L. - May 01, 2017 6:54:34 am PDT #10655 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Sweet puppy! Fingers crossed for your dad, Brenda.

I'm seriously ready for another dog already, but Tim isn't, and that's fine. I can wait.

Plus, his dad being in assisted living is NOT going well. It's requiring a LOT of time and work on the part of all 3 boys (and the wives). His dementia is at the stage where he still remembers and retains a lot of information that he already knew prior to, say, 2015 or so. But he doesn't retain anything new, so he doesn't understand why he's in assisted living, and since it's an unfamiliar place, he's SUPER disoriented all the time and needs a lot of attention and reassurance, generally in person.

Someone has to visit him every day, for hours and hours, which is really hard. It's more care than the boys were putting in when he lived at home (and they were putting in a LOT of care). Every time he goes to the bathroom it's a surprise to him that he has a catheter, and he doesn't remember why it's there and he wants to know when it will be removed and when he can go back home (the answer to both is: probably never).

I think if he were back at home, he would be less disoriented, but at this point he requires more or less around-the-clock medical care, so a healthcare provider would have to live in at his house, and he would NOT stand for that. Basically, he wants to go home and have the boys continue to care for him, because he thinks he's healthy and doesn't need much help. Since that's not actually true, him going home and the boys helping is not going to happen. There's no good solution here.

I'm ashamed that my reaction is to be frustrated that Jack hasn't jumped into all the activities and such at Evergreen (and, again, this place is swanky as hell). I assumed he would slide back into being the gregarious, outgoing, extroverted man he used to be, but...he's pretty much given up. He said, in so many words, that he just wants to go back home and "sit in his chair in the living room and look around at things, drink some beers, and go to bed." That's all he wants to do. Even getting him to go to Mass on Saturday was like pulling teeth (and this is a man who went to Mass literally every DAY when I first met him; he's a hardcore Catholicism fanboy). We thought we'd go over mid-afternoon on Saturday to visit for a couple of hours, take him his laundry and make sure he had nice clean clothes for Mass, and then scoot off to run errands. In the end, Tim had to agree to go to Mass with him and spent about 6 hours with him before going home (I was in cutoff shorts and used that as my excuse to not go to Mass, plus someone really needed to get groceries).

tl;dr: We are expending a LOT of time and emotional energy on Tim's dad right now, and there's no time or energy to get a new dog. But I want one.


Steph L. - May 01, 2017 6:59:32 am PDT #10656 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

One good thing is that my improv class's next session starts May 30, and I am SO looking forward to that.


lisah - May 01, 2017 7:27:50 am PDT #10657 of 30002
Punishingly Intricate

That sucks a lot, Steph. I hope it gets easier somehow as time passes.


-t - May 01, 2017 7:30:10 am PDT #10658 of 30002
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

PUPPY! So frickin cute! I got weirdly confused by that series of posts, though, and thought the link would have something to do with wedding dresses.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE AT WORK MSBELLE THAT IS TERRIBLE!!!!

Oh, I'm sorry Tep, that is so hard. Strength to all of you to keep helping him.


Gudanov - May 01, 2017 7:39:34 am PDT #10659 of 30002
Coding and Sleeping

We took a short trip to Arkansas this last weekend. It worked out pretty well even though the weather forecast made it look grim. We also managed to find a good route home that avoided roads closed due to flooding.


Gudanov - May 01, 2017 7:48:08 am PDT #10660 of 30002
Coding and Sleeping

Also this weekend I got the first, I guess proof of concept, 15 minute recording for the audiobook edition of Cog.

[link]


Jesse - May 01, 2017 8:18:34 am PDT #10661 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Ugh, that's so hard, Steph. And I hate to say this, but it may just get worse until he's beyond knowing what's going on at all. Is he in the apartment kind of assisted living? I.e., would he just be alone if you all weren't constantly visiting? He may be better off in a situation with more staff interaction, so they can be the ones to tell him what's up a thousand times a day. (One of my nursing home friends spends an hour or more a day explaining her relationship to her mother, that her parents are dead, etc., and it's been like that for years.)

In better news, PUPPY.


Jesse - May 01, 2017 8:20:09 am PDT #10662 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

In other better news, physical plant just showed up at the office next to mine and said they were there for a "cold call." I didn't know that was a thing! Get ready for me to complain about every single room I go into, because they are all freezing most of the time. (Although apparently some coworkers know how to adjust the thermostats that seem to randomly located.)


Gudanov - May 01, 2017 8:21:45 am PDT #10663 of 30002
Coding and Sleeping

I'm pretty sure the thermostats at my office don't actually do anything.


Connie Neil - May 01, 2017 8:25:13 am PDT #10664 of 30002
brillig

Everyone in my office just wears their jackets till midafternoon, when the sun coming in the wall of windows has warmed up everything.