And we both said once they're eighteen they just own their own failures. They're making their own choices, creating their own life.

That's what I've said too, but this girl will be turning 18 in the middle of her junior year, in December; she got held back once already. I worry that finishing her junior year as a legal adult, she won't go back to school. She hates it and doesn't see any value in it since she doesn't want to go to college. Also, it's totally her mom's fault she's never had a job because her mom won't fill out any applications for her.

I read about friends who have these really smart kids who are self-motivated and take care of all their homework by themselves, and it's all generally correct, and parents just sit back and beam at their wonderful children's wonderful As, A+s, commendation letters, etc. Said kids are also incredibly well rounded and in addition to always getting A+s, they excell at sports, musical instruments, and volunteering with the homeless.

This is a lie. And even if it's not, they'll fall down eventually. I mean, if Instagram had been around I probably would've seemed like one of those kids, but...really wasn't very happy much of high school. Self-motivated also meant really high self expectations and feeling like I'd failed if I didn't meet them.

and I played an instrument for years (even through and after college!) but never was good at practicing--in middle school I forged my moms signature on our practice log so many times I had to keep doing it because I figured if I gave it to her after two or three forged signatures shed remember she hadn't been signing it!

job

Oh! Next summer is the summer of get a job or go to summer school for Mac.

Burrell, what Maria said.

Self, what Maria said.

It's a what Maria said kind of day.

Do kids seem to have WAY MORE homework than we did when we were young?

Yes, Sophia. I'll leave it at that, but yes.

My kids also sit down to do their homework right when they get home ,with me or with the sitter. I don't need reminders about helping them set a routine, I just need more emotional resources so that I can be there for them when my son gets exasperated that his math is actually hard that day, or to find a loving and gentle way of telling him that he has to redo his sentences because "I am awesome" may be amusing but it won't get credit if the teacher asked for at least 7 words and 2 clauses per sentence. Or when my daughter still doesn't comprehend the relationship between rates and ratios and is sick of hearing me try and explain it to her, or needs me to go over her lab report conclusions, or when I need to find a gentle way to nudge her to finish up her math or her English even though she's tired and she's been doing homework for hours.

Ugh, okay, my entire post basically boils down to "parenting is hard" which may be true, but I should probably shut up about it. Complaining isn't helping.

Thanks for letting me vent. I guess I needed to vent.

I am sorry in retrospect for how mean I was to my mother the few times she attempted to help me with homework. She is not so good at reading directions, though, and she wasn't there when the teacher explained it, so it was hard. I did accept (and she was really good at) helping me with things that had to be memorized, like State Capitols. She made up little sentence to help me remember like "They serve FRANKFURTers at the KENTUCKY derby." And she was good at quizzing me in many different ways. But I don't think students have to memorize as much now.

when I need to find a gentle way to nudge her to finish up her math or her English even though she's tired and she's been doing homework for hours.

If gentle isn't working, can you work in a bit more stern? Or will that just end up messy?

As a single childless person, I am partying all the time. If we define "party" as "anything you can do on a sofa (except sex)".

Our dog is obsessed with licking the floor. And when I had told him for the 100th time that day to stop licking the damn floor, I said to Tim, "Oh my god, I can't even handle a dog with a mild behavioral tic; can you imagine how I would deal with a toddler who throws a tantrum because the corn touched the potatoes?"

"That's why we don't have kids," he said. "Because I don't want to visit you in jail on Sundays."

I have decided that I'll do my best to work only one way on the shuttle, probably in the AM. On my way home, I will watch something, listen to a podcast, or read a book. I won't want to get home every night feeling exhausted, cranky, and futless.

I got an ancestry genetic test and have just spit in the tube. I just realized that I can't mail it from New York state- I am not sure if they check and throw them out or not! Is anyone willing to send me their address so I can mail it to you and you could pop it in the mail from your state? It is a tiny postage paid box.