I hate celery. And it's in everything, every meat-type salad, it's fibrous and bitter and I hate biting into it.

Every time I order tuna or chicken salad and it contains previously un-advertised celery, I feel SO BETRAYED. Celery in tuna/chicken/egg salad is the devil.

Except the REALLY weird thing about me is that I *love* celery with hummus. It's excellent.

And also -- I shit you not on this -- I have this olfactory quirk where too much of one scent starts to smell like another scent. My nose reads an excess of lavender as celery. No lie. (Also, too much citrus, especially in something like a candle or soap, smells like mint. I cannot explain my nose.)

With tuna salad and egg salad, I want to taste the tuna/eggs and the mayo and the pickle!

Tuna, mayo, and pickles are all you need in tuna salad. Though I get a little weird with my avocado in egg salad, but I love avocado like burning and it tastes SO GOOD in egg salad.

I hate mushy protein food, which is why there is celery or apple or raw cabbage in all my mayo based 'salads.' Anything else triggers gag reflex. Don't do pudding at all, and yogurt needs a mixed in. Grits grew on me,but texture is very important.

So there's the reason for celery.

So there's the reason for celery.

Textures are weird, man. I know I have some really specific food-texture things, but I can't think of a single one right now.

Oh. Button mushrooms are like biting into an ear. I can't do it.

What are the mayo/mustard proportions for these? Has anyone tried them with the olive oil mayos? Would that be ok you think?

Has anyone tried them with the olive oil mayos?

That's what I use. I like it a lot.

I have no idea what my proportions are, because I eyeball it all. For egg salad for 2 people, it's 4 eggs, 1 avocado; cut the avocado in half, moosh up one of the halves, and dice the other half. Dice the eggs. Then mayo and mustard until it looks/tastes right.

I can say I basically use only as much mayo/mustard as is required to get the whole thing to hold together. I don't want discrete egg parts thinking they can break free. The nice thing about mooshing half the avocado is it reduces the amount of mayo I use, but because it's mooshy, it helps hold the egg salad together.

I don't over-mayo it. As soon as the egg salad holds together, that's enough mayo for me. And, for me, a little mustard goes a loooooong way, so I just use a small amount. Maybe 1/2 tablespoon at the most.

Whereas I like a lot of mustard in mine (if mustard based. I have an apple, tuna, cabbage salad that I make with oil& soy Girards Chinese salad dressing. So no mayo.)

I love spicy tangy mustard.

Mustard is...very aggressive to my taste buds. I have a really wimpy set of taste buds.

I love the taste of celery. Stalks, root, seed, raw, cooked, steeped forever into broth, all good. Sometimes my gums start to hurt just thinking about eating something crunchy, though.

I've made olive oil mayo and used it to make my various salads and it was fine. I've also made tuna salad with olive oil instead of mayo and that was good, but that was following an actual recipe not just guesstimating spoonfuls. My usual system is one can (6-oz or whatever is close to that) or 6 eggs to 2 rounded T mayo, 2 rounded T mustard (because I really like mustard. I can use all mustard and no mayo and be happy, flavor-wise, that really just depends on how much fat I want in my meal) 3 T celery or radishes or whatever., maybe more if I'm combining vegetables, whatever the mixture will hold. I don't do pickles in mine, I like my pickles whole and on the side not chopped up in stuff, usually.

And why are peppers in everything! "Oh, it needs some flavor, some zing!"

No, it doesn't! My food should not bite back!

I like mayo. Probably too much. I like avocados, but they can be stringy, so they aren't a good substitute for mayo, to me. And I love cucumber pickles, so I'll take them on the side or in the mix.

I hate mushy protein food, which is why there is celery or apple or raw cabbage in all my mayo based 'salads.' Anything else triggers gag reflex.

I get where you're coming from, but apples would be totally okay with me in just about any salad. Why not put in apples? They taste so much better than celery and are better for you! Cabbage, however, is a big no. Unless it's cole slaw.

Oh. Button mushrooms are like biting into an ear. I can't do it.

This so so weird - I can eat small mushrooms, but a big portobello mushroom makes me a bit nauseous just looking at it. No idea why. And I don't like the taste, either, I don't get people who think they taste meaty.

What are the mayo/mustard proportions for these? Has anyone tried them with the olive oil mayos? Would that be ok you think?

Mustard is great for adding that zing the pepper-lovers want. I have no objection to a little mustard, but it can quickly overwhelm all other flavors if not restrained. I tried an olive-oil mayo once, but the taste was just wrong. Similar to what happened when I fried an egg in olive oil. Olive oil and eggs are both delicious, but they don't go together.

Texture is very weird and personal thing. Me, I don't have trouble with mushy stuff, but things that are squishy but not smooth make me have trouble swallowing it. Like when you bite into a cherry tomato and the seeds and little chunks in its juicy insides splat into your mouth. Like, I love a good tomato, but I have to brace myself to bite into those things. My body's immediate reaction to that texture seems to be "this is rotten and partially decomposed, spit it out!"

I never met a mushroom I didn't like.

Celery and apples go so well together, why divide them up?