It's tough to find the line between advocating for yourself and pushing in a way that doctors push back. Leading off with "I can't remember a time when I wasn't struggling with depression, and it makes me wonder if there is more to it than that," might be a productive way to start the conversation. When I was first diagnosed with ADD, I took in a completed self-evaluation form from Sari Solden's book on women with ADD. This checklist was based on her work [link] .

I think we have Sari Solden's "Journeys Through ADDulthood."

Zen, there was something on Tumblr about language to use for a chronic illness to get doctors to take you seriously, and I believe the magic phrase was something like "It's affecting my ability to work/concentrate/enjoy my life/interact with my family", or whatever.

Did I mention I'd stopped taking the topamax because of brain fog and vertigo and peripheral neuropathy in my feet? Well, I did.

Was the topomax supposed to help depression? I didn't know they were using it for that! I used to be on it for migraines, and hated the fog. Though liked the not-eating-constantly effect. I hear they're prescribing for weight loss these days which...seems not worth it.

The drama was mostly that I love both of my two friends and think they are awesome but I am starting to think they are not awesome together (mainly just when drunk, but still). Which is sad, but sadder if they break up and don't want to hang out together anymore! Am hoping they can stay friends but...especially unlikely if they fuck it up and get hateful while drunk. :(

Today my plan is to fix my hair, make some cookies, go to Sephora (and possibly Sally's, if hair-fixing needs), and chill.

Today I got to pet the new litter of alley kittens (about 3 weeks old) and just ran into an old HS friend at lunch. We commiserated about the noisy motorcycles screaming LOOK AT ME!!! outside.

Matt, the momma cat let you pet them? That's cool!

Andi and Dana, thanks, I'm writing all that down so I can hopefully remember it when I finally go see the hypothetical shrink. It's sad that I have to find ways to emotionally manipulate a doctor just in order to be taken seriously.

I have Women With ADD around here somewhere, don't remember who wrote it. I was halfway through it, and I told my sister about it, she refused to listen, and I let myself get so discouraged I never went back and finished the book. I need to find it and read it all the way through. I put too much stock in what my sister says, sometimes.

Was the topomax supposed to help depression? I didn't know they were using it for that! I used to be on it for migraines, and hated the fog. Though liked the not-eating-constantly effect. I hear they're prescribing for weight loss these days which...seems not worth it.

It was prescribed to me for weight loss, by a doctor I'm no longer seeing. I'm not sorry I tried it, I did lose about ten pounds, but more importantly, one day I woke up and I wasn't depressed. The "voices" in my head were silent, no more negative self-talk for the fist time in my life. It was amazing. Unfortunately, it took a much higher dose than I was comfortable with staying on long-term - topamax can cause glaucoma, and I got a retinal tear, which fixed itself but I don't want to risk it again. Topamax also seems to have caused peripheral neuropathy, which it's supposed to cure...idk, but since I stopped it, the tingling and burning in my feet and lower legs has slowly gone away.

I don't know how much I should tell the new shrink about my experience with topamax. The more I talk about how my body feels, the more doctors seem to think I'm neurotic. I don't understand, isn't paying attention to your body a good thing? It's not like I freak out at every twinge.

Bleah, root canals. I'm all blah and low-energy today. I have great cooking plans (peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies and a batch of lentils), but really all I want to do is crash.

Ugh, root canal. I say Crash. Cookies can wait!

Cookies will always be there for you, Consuela.

I'd be much worse off without Buffistas. This is the place I can talk about stuff and I know someone will listen and understand. I don't really have that anywhere else.

That sounds mean, I guess. I do have my sister and my BFF, but they have their own sh!t going on. It's not always easy to get my sis to listen. And G has so much to deal with in her life, I don't always want to demand more of her emotional energy to deal with my moods. Her life is so much harder than mine, I feel petty complaining to her.

I'd be much worse off without Buffistas. This is the place I can talk about stuff and I know someone will listen and understand. I don't really have that anywhere else.

I feel the same way. I'm so fucking lucky to have my Buffistas.

Because of certain talk on this board, I had a big takeout scarf of Indian last night. The butter chicken was okay, but the beef Madras was really spicy. I think channa masala is my favourite Indian dish. And naan.

Steph, you would have loved the butter chicken because they filled that container with sauce.