"If you're an average American and you feel like you've been forgotten by far away leaders, Donald Trump will be there for you."

"Donald Trump will always tell you the truth as he sees it." Implied but not said: those far-away leaders who've forgotten about you, ordinary hard-working Americans, they always lie to you.

Well, there you have it, that's why they're voting for him; they believe that.

Scott Baio will also be speaking, and I don't know why. They keep reminding people he's Chachi.

Thank you, Connie. I don't know how long I can stand it, but I really wanted to get a sense of why people want to vote for someone who is clearly, to me, a baboon in a bad wig.

I am watching, but on delay so I can fast forward through commercials, or stuff I just can't handle, like Donald.

Rick Perry says Making America great Again starts with taking care of our veterans! Wild applause. Here comes a veteran to speak. I don't mean to be petty, I swear, but he could have shaved and put on a tie. Is this a thing now? Dressing down at formal events to show you're not an elite liberal?

Ah, he is Marcus Luttrell, founder of the Lone Survivor Foundation. He is a former Navy Seal, Purple Heart, lone survivor of a Taliban firefight. It says on the screen there.

There is a whole section of people in cowboy hats. Straw ones, even.

Oh, wait, he's the one they made a movie about. That I didn't see. Sorry.

And Benghazi again.

Mother of attack victom on stage wailing How could Hillary do this to me? Crowd in tears. Holy crap.

I'm trying to avoid a rage blackout, so I'm watching American Ninja Warrior (I blame Tim's family, who watched it last week on vacation and sucked me in).

I haven't gotten that far. I may have to bail. A vet friend of mine is all about the Trump. I have held off on challenging him hard, yet.

I love American Ninja Warrior.