Oh man, I think that "I love to embarrass him!" is a terrible reason for someone to throw a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend. (This is a local friend who, when she sent out a group FB message, was asked if the boyfriend likes surprise parties, and she replied "I don't know, but I love to embarrass him!")

I can't decide whether I want to go to watch the slo-mo train wreck this dipshit is setting in motion, or stay home because I can't handle second-hand embarrassment. (It *is* at an Indian restaurant, and I do love me some matar paneer.)

But I mean, really? Maybe you find out how your boyfriend feels about surprise parties before you throw him one? Maybe you don't put "embarrassing him!" at the top of the list of ways to show him you (maybe) love him?

And this is why I celebrated my birthday with a waffle and my husband on the couch last night. Because he would never pull that shit on me.

Ick, Teppy. That's horrible. With 40 coming up for me in 2017, I have reminded TCG that if he throws me a surprise party or allows anyone else to throw me a surprise party, he will die a slow and painful death. Luckily he believes me.

Well, it may depend on the BF. For the DH's 50th, I corralled four people to give speeches about him as a surprise since I knew he would never approve of such a thing. I knew it would embarrass him and it did, but I also knew he'd really love hearing what they said and that it would give him a lot of pleasure, which it did.

Is the BF the kind of person who would be embarrassed at first and then totally dig a delish dinner with friends or is this just going to be an evening of torture (which is also a possibility).

She sounds like she *just* wants to embarrass him. I guess I'd be giving her less of a stinkeye if she hadn't cheerfully said she had no idea if he even *likes* surprise parties. That's (1) a gamble to take and (2) kind of shitty to pull on someone if you don't know how he'll react. I get the feeling she doesn't really care. She kind of treats him as a prop.

t edit I mean, he may love it, and I genuinely hope for his sake that he does. But she's doing this without knowing one way or the other. That's just...thoughtless. Scrappy, you said you knew that J. would love the speeches despite the initial embarrassment. That's totally different. Because you knew how he'd feel. This gal...doesn't seem to really care.

San Diego ranked the worst among America's 30 largest cities for walkability.

[link]

This is why I never realistically nominate my hometown for F2F. I love it, but it's really not very do-able without a car.

I took H out to dinner for his birthday and had the staff do the clap-and-sing thing, with a cake and sparklers. And a minute into it I knew I'd made a dreadful, regretable mistake. He sat still till they'd finished, but when they went away he got up and left. He wasn't embarrassed, he was angry. He'd told me he hated that sort of thing, but I thought he was either kidding, or would appreciate it in the moment. I don't know why he feels this way--he's not interested in exploring it. But I Never made that mistake again. Family only, singing only ironically, only funny cards, and practical presents. "A new crescent wrench! Neat!"

Oh, I despise the sing and clap thing. If I have to tell staff it's my birthday to use a discount, I tell them there will be no tip if they sing. I had a group come up anyway and I warned them about the tip, they said "Oh, no, we want to sing for you!" There was no tip, I made sure to tell the waiter that and mentioned it to the manager on the way out. If singing and clapping are the price of a discounted birthday, I'll happily go elsewhere.

Timelies all!

The little guy was well enough to go back to daycare, so I could go to work today.

Usually birthdays around here are celebrated by going out to dinner. There's usually a housefilk/party associated with it, though not always on the actual day.

Wednesday after Tim and his brothers and SiLs and I had the meeting with the family attorney, we went to eat at a grilled-cheese place (which? AWESOME). And at one point, one of the brothers went up to the counter and got the kids' coloring thing (a "superhero" template that's a [hopefully unintentionally] vaguely creepy looking human in a unitard that kids can color [the finished products were on the walls and one kid made a great Deadpool]) and handed it to me, and then he started singing the lowest-volume "Happy Birthday" you can imagine, joined immediately by the other brothers and SiLs, all at super low volume, which tickled me to death, because I *loathe* being sung "Happy Birthday" to, on a galactic scale.

And I mentioned it later to Tim: "That was SUPER nice of your brothers to dial down the volume on the 'Happy Birthday' at the restaurant. I might have died otherwise." He said, "Yeah, they kind of hate it, too, but didn't want you to feel neglected."

Congrats, lisah!

Fingers crossed, Dana! Also, maybe you could get a fancy hair product spray like that sample you got from Birchbox?

I have been working from home today. As usual, I barely remembered to eat and I've been hunched over my laptop at the kitchen table unfucking things all day. Have barely moved. Managed to get a load of laundry done and put away, at least.

I need to close my laptop and go for a walk soon.