The attorney told us that some assisted living places have memory...programs, I guess? I'm not sure how to describe it. Specific therapy/treatment for patients with memory issues. Though she said that the problem is that there are no actual standards set at this point for such programs, so it's hard to say whether they'd be helpful.
Yup. My dad's in memory care, which means, so far as I can tell: the floor is locked, so he can't get out (although he got out on Friday and went out for a burger and a cup of coffee, so it's clearly not foolproof); they have staff trained to deal with the demented; staff provide daily living support like showers and dressing and so forth; they have daily activities programs for the demented like visiting musicians, movies, etc.
It's not exactly what I would have hoped for, but it's better than it could have been. Dad is pretty high-functioning, and as a result he finds many of the activities kind of dull/simple. And he dislikes the restrictions, although since he's a nice guy, he doesn't make too much of a fuss.
I do recommend the Alzheimer's Reading Room for anyone with demented family: [link]
There's a lot of good, supportive information there.
And I'm really glad you folks went to see a lawyer, Steph. That's enormously helpful, despite the hassle factor.